cars that kick your ass

[ross1]

So, since a fair number of us here are either pros or work on many different cars beside our own AND I am currently having MY ass kicked by a recalcitrant Chyzzler product having electrical issues (which I'm usually good at finding) I'm prompted to create this thread to bitch about some miserable POS you hated working on.
Please share and make me feel better.

[BimmrMeUpSnotty]

Didn’t kick my a$$, but was a pain to work on, those stupid Audi R8’s. Don’t ever buy an Audi, JUNK. And there is a reason as to why you stop seeing them everywhere like when they were new, after 3 -4 years….. JUNK.

[ross1]

Didn’t kick my a$$, but was a pain to work on, those stupid Audi R8’s. Don’t ever buy an Audi, JUNK. And there is a reason as to why you stop seeing them everywhere like when they were new, after 3 -4 years….. JUNK.

Completely agree about Audis. I've owned a few and when things are all in order they are nice but that isn't often enough to suit me.
All of my friends drive much newer (daily) cars than I do but often ask me for advice when buy their new ones. Audis have come up a few times and my advice is to lease the damn thing no longer than the factory warranty and dump it after.
Decade + old Bentley Continentals, as the interiors are quite nice, have been a tempting replacement for Mrs. Ross' elderly 528(which she still loves but the tin worms do just as much) I need to keep telling myself that it is a VOLKSWAGON underneath.

[BimmrMeUpSnotty]

Vwaudi

[mateo8]

1991 Buick Park Avenue... The car was great, never really had any problems with it, but parts for it were IMPOSSIBLE to get. In '91 the Park Avenue was apparently an appearance package over the '91 le saber, but had a vin that said they were a le saber. When I went to the local auto zone they would try and insist there was no '91 Park Avenue, this was especially frustrating when I needed a new truck seal and there was "no such thing" as the trunk was completely different from the Le Saber to the Park Avenue. Other than that, never really had a car be that big of a PITA when fixing it up

[KeysCoupe]

I bought a Mini Cooper S when they first came out in '02 ('03 model year). I love the car, but it is a pain to work on. Everything is packaged so tight under the hood, you have to dissassemble a bunch to get to things that wear out.
My transaxle started making bad noises in 2nd, 4th, and 6th. I found a later '05 replacement trans in a U-Pull yard that was already nearly out of the car.
I spent almost two days in the driveway swapping that out in mine, along with a fresh flywheel and clutch assy. I should have dropped the whole engine and transaxle out as a unit, but thought that would have been more work. What a pain to work on! It still puts a smile on my face when I drive it though.
-Donny

[BimmrMeUpSnotty]

I have a 2003 and a 2006 R53. They are the easiest cars to work on.

[ross1]

I have a 2003 and a 2006 R53. They are the easiest cars to work on.

Supercharger, clutch ? Please. You are the only person I've heard make this statement.
Familiarity with any car will make it easiER. As I understand it owning a Mini will cause one to become familiar with repairing it.

[CPHES]

Haha - I have a 2005 R53 - truth be told, it's not bad to work on. - maybe because I own an e39, and and e39. You kind of expect any of the German Stuff to be a pain, and kick your ass. GM / Chrysler, not as much. so with the expectation of an easy fix, I can see that disappointment can be a lower bar. The 01 Yukon is a blessing, because it is easy. But, I changed a dying fuel pump ( 245K, and only the 2nd replacement - not bad ), but I made the 20 year fuel line spring a leak. Getting new Lines in was a B$%&h - Done now, and I am happy, but doing it was a journey I could have skipped - Gasoline, rust, etc...

[BimmrMeUpSnotty]

Supercharger, clutch ? Please. You are the only person I've heard make this statement.
Familiarity with any car will make it easiER. As I understand it owning a Mini will cause one to become familiar with repairing it.

You must be learning impaired, and all the idiots that told you this should take up knitting, bet that would kick their ass too. It is not hard to work on at all.

[ross1]

You must be learning impaired, and all the idiots that told you this should take up knitting, bet that would kick their ass too. It is not hard to work on at all.

Yeah, I'm learning impaired, that's it. Wow, who pissed in your oatmeal?

[BimmrMeUpSnotty]

Yeah, I'm learning impaired, that's it. Wow, who pissed in your oatmeal?

Dude, lay down the doobie, I told you its a piece of cake to work on, you then basically called BS, yet you obviously never worked on one, Jesus, is this how you are when you work on cars??? Whining about them all day long? Stop whining… And stop pissing in my oatmeal.

[ross1]

Dude, lay down the doobie, I told you its a piece of cake to work on, you then basically called BS, yet you obviously never worked on one, Jesus, is this how you are when you work on cars??? Whining about them all day long? Stop whining… And stop pissing in my oatmeal.

Who's whining? I am regurgitating the consensus about these things. Easy for you? Great, congratulations. Most everyone else avoids them. And you are right because NO I haven't worked on them personally and never will.
I guess an upside to fixing them would be for a single guy to meet girls.
Have a nice day.

[BimmrMeUpSnotty]

Oh, ok….. Now you’re saying that they’re a girls car,…. Lol, you crack me up. Try driving one some day, maybe you’ll get it. Then soup one up, and then drive it, and I mean DRIVE IT, if you’re not such a big puss, and really got on it, maybe then, you’d get it. They are a fun go kart. They may be bigger, and heavier than the original Coopers, but once you drive them fast, then the old car comes out, especially in the turns. You shouldn’t mock, what you have zero clue about.

[ross1]

You are nothing if not predictable. Sorry that's only my anecdotal evidence of who I mostly observe driving them.
A neighbor(a man) has an S model which he thrashes like a rented mule and encouraged me to do same with it. Given public roads and some semblance of sanity I only pushed moderately hard but remain unimpressed. I clearly lack your skill and courage.

[BimmrMeUpSnotty]

You lack balls.

[BimmrMeUpSnotty]

Another thing, the only one worthy is the R53, the supercharged ones. The turbos, R56 and up, I don’t like how they drive at all. Go over to your neighbors house, grab his keys, fondle your nuts and drive that thing like you stole it. They’re fun, stop being such a wuss, they’re a far cry from those sissy Jeepsters you were fondling around

[blarf]

Dude, lay down the doobie, I told you its a piece of cake to work on, you then basically called BS, yet you obviously never worked on one, Jesus, is this how you are when you work on cars??? Whining about them all day long? Stop whining… And stop pissing in my oatmeal.

You are the only person I've seen claim BMW Minis are easy to work on. German engineering, British assembly, and French motors? Throw in an Italian transmission and you've got WW2 on (Japanese?) wheels.

[BimmrMeUpSnotty]

Well, Barf, they are easy to on. Next time you chime in acting like you know what you’re talking about, get your facts right. The R53 engine is totally different than the newer turbo engines, R53 are Brazilian. The 6 speed transmissions are made by Getrag. The newer engines in the R56 are actually a newer version of the Rover 214, the diesel versions are what you are talking about, made by Peugeot, Citroen, and Volvos use them too. Later Barfolomeu.

- - - Updated - - -

Another thing, CPHES also has an R53, and he says the same thing I did about how they are not hard to work on. You people crack me up.

[blarf]

Time to pick up the doobie dude. It was a joke.

Although if you wanna be pedantic the Tritec is a derivative of the Neon engine, no? I don't particularly care since Minis of any vintage are pretty rare around here. The new ones all vanished just like the PT Cruisers and 500s. The only mini I see regularly belongs to my quarter ton (each) neighbors. It's got faded union jacks all over it and the male part of that equation is always adding oil to it. Apparently BMW makes it difficult/impossible for dealers to order parts (and thus service) for MINIs unless they also sell them, and the handful of MINI dealers around here play along with that.

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[BimmrMeUpSnotty]

Hey Puke! You had a Volvo??? Lol, that explains a lot….

[KeysCoupe]

Well, Barf, they are easy to on. Next time you chime in acting like you know what you’re talking about, get your facts right. The R53 engine is totally different than the newer turbo engines, R53 are Brazilian. The 6 speed transmissions are made by Getrag. The newer engines in the R56 are actually a newer version of the Rover 214, the diesel versions are what you are talking about, made by Peugeot, Citroen, and Volvos use them too. Later Barfolomeu.

- - - Updated - - -

Another thing, CPHES also has an R53, and he says the same thing I did about how they are not hard to work on. You people crack me up.

Yes, I get it. I absolutely love thrashing my Mini. It puts a big grin on my face every time I drive it, but, dropping the transaxle out of it is close to 4 hours, plus those stupid little red quick hose connectors break into crumbs. Fortunately, Land Rover uses them too, but theirs don't get brittle. I could go on about the shift linkage on the Mini 6 speed Grerag. Almost assured to break the rubber trying to pop them off.
I can pull the transmission out of my Z3 in less than 45 minutes, or a complete flywheel and clutch swap in one in about 3 hours, from driving in the garage to driving it out. The same process for my Mini is more like 9 hours.
I stand buy my comments that working on the Mini kicks my ass. But I still love the car!
-Donny

[BimmrMeUpSnotty]

All the brittle stuff should have been changed out long before they got brittle! Clutch? Well, I have not gone through any clutches on my Minis, to need to swap out the clutches. But I have done many front wheel drive clutches on VW Corrados, and GTI’s that I have had, if it is a pain in the ass, deal with it. Stop being a pussy, stop being a whiny puke, is all I am saying. Don’t let the cars kick your ass. It’s a car. Learn them, drive the piss out of them, have fun, fix them when you break them. My brother, he’s one of those dildos that act like he’s a total car guy, but yet, will have some dumsh!t idiot friend of his work on the car for the smallest of issues, screw them up, make them worse, then come whining to me about it. For those I’ve been harping on about being a total wuss, this is where that disgust comes from, my brother……
Don’t be like my brother, my dad too, that puke was even worse.

[adm750]

well...this spiraled out of control rather swiftly.... LOL

My old 70's Spitfire was actually pretty easy (contrary to the thread's title)....till I had to swap a transmission out...in the driveway.....by removing the interior and the transmission tunnel cover. That was fun. Lost a chuck out of a fingertip on that one.

I think this e70 X5 is the one I hate working on the most of all the cars I've owned.