The first step is to know/understand the generation BMW you have and the components/modules that are on the various busses...and which ones are the main control modules of those busses and the modules that send/receive data through that main control module. The www.newtis.info website is good for researching or brushing up on things you need to know in regards to these matters.
If new to BMW or new to upgrades that envolve "coding"...also make sure that what you're reading applies to your generation of BMW. The e38/e39/e46/e53 is now considered old school BMWs...and things you hear/read about for the new gen BMWs that are F & G chassis...and even the last E chassis models that are new gen BMWs (like e90/e60/e63/e65/e70/e71/etc) may not apply to the old gen BMWs.
So, with all the above out of the way...what was this coding info you've heard about or what forum did it come from...and did they mention any specific modules? The e39's exterior lighting is under the control of the LM, LCM (2) or LCM III during the production run from 1996-2003.
Exterior lighting upgrades for the e39 usually require specific LCM modules that can do specific things. The LCM III and the LCM IV (that the late e53 X5s got) perform the most modern headlight operations that the new gen BMW models were offered as standard or optional features. Hopefully you have grasped what it takes to install a different LCM into a e38/e39/e46/e53...so if you are upgrading to an LCM 3 or 4 to achieve some new headlight feature..."coding" isn't really what is done...but rewriting VIN info to the replacement module will be required so that it will communicate with the IKE and update mileage and service interval information.
Again, make sure you're not assuming that the coding required to mod headlight operations for a new gen BMW is being conflated with what is required to upgrade headlights on an e39.
{the e39 communication bus with the HIGH cluster looks like this}
{the e39 communication bus with the LOW cluster looks like this}
{new gen BMWs have a more complicated Bus system and includes things like the LIN, MOST, BSD bus...and I believe exterior lighting is controlled by modules like the FRM/JBE/FEM modules}
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