Help me Tom Cruise!! Who can program this driveway door stop.

[Fightclub74]

Howdy Peeps, need some help with this thing they call a Bimmer/bummer. I'm on my last leg, my last bottle, and I have lost my mind. Electrical issue, just changed starter 2 months ago so didn't bother looking that way till the end. Did all the usual rickety rackity this n that hoopla...bst this, battery that, ground whatchamacallit, piece of dung battery cable doohicky that shorts out behind the fuse box fingler youhoo. Wrangled the dme or dr dre hoozit from that plastic gorrila grip box. Nothing. Can't be starter, no god damn way. Ok, lets rip the plastic peice of no clearance intake off again and break a few more plastic puzzles on our magic journey to the starter in the best place possible middle earth. You guessed it...wasnt that metal maniacal POS either. Has to be the friggin E.W.S....or as I now call it....Electonic Wheel Stop. So very little power getting groovy to that solenoid. Jumped those little perverted pins in 21 and 22 and she cranked. I almost yank.. for joy. Now, this is where my patience, which has been left on my lousy driveway, in 10-30 degree weather, in dirty Jersey, rain soaked and sh-sh-shivering me timbers off, loses its cool. Yes I need help with programming that squat box. And before one yahoo says search is your friend, I will come at you like a spider monkey. Ive tried using the inpa or instapot, blink 182, or whoever she is.... it aint happening. I made an honest effort, and now want to kill myself. At least a little more than yesterday. This crapshoot lost power when the ground cable ripped like John Wayne's Bobbitt Bullet. It either lost the sync, or fried the module. Anywho...just looking for someone that can either code one for me, or remotely shock this Bastard into submission. 4 weeks ive been wrestling this wannabe, can anyone please, for the love of god, help this poor soul? Ok to pay, just dont wanna get cornholed. You guys rock....anytime now

[shogun]

you should update your profile with model, built year and month, that is not enough

My Cars: 335i

[Fightclub74]

Sorry, updated