The Ultimate Leaking Machine

[Santaclaus4]

My car has a diaper for those overnight "accidents".

[geargrinder]

Haha! My old MGB’s and Mini Coopers all had cork gaskets, the MG’s developed leaks more often than the Coopers. Those British engineers always wanted to keep you dripping....

There's a few variations on an old joke there, aka "How do you know a British car needs oil? It stops leaking."

Though pound for pound I'm not sure there's anything that gives a truly-long-neglected high-miles M62TU run for its money. If you really do it right(wrong) you'll have valve covers oozing, upper timing covers oozing, VANOS solenoids oozing, rear main seal oozing, oil pan dripping... Add in coolant from the valley pan and crossover manifold and a failing water pump and cracked radiator and then power steering hoses leaking from both ends, and you're really in business...

That said, my motor is tidy as can be these days, just gotta stay ahead of things.

[as400jockey]

Was it something I said?

I posted some stuff a day or 2 ago and it hasn't appeared yet. Maybe the moderator is on vaca... or maybe I didn't click POST...

In case my earlier post is lost in the ether, my son's 2003 530i started smoking like CRAZY while on the highway... just BILLOWING stinky oil smoke. He lost over 3.5 quarts of oil... Car went into limp mode due, I assume, to low oil. Big mess all over the exhaust, all the way back to the differential, and even sprayed around the engine compartment. Looked like the valve cover gasket, but MAN... how can it lose that much oil that fast that suddenly? My wife's E60 was dripping a little, so I got fair warning when starting the car and getting a brief oil stink.

This appeared to be leaking in the rear exhaust side - same as my wife's. But also from up by the vanos, and around by Cyl 1. Spark plug number 1 was swimming in oil, apparently long enough to kill the rubber boot.

I replaced the gasket. Still smoking. Fearing rings and burning oil, but that didn't make sense unless he killed the rings due to low oil. I think the spike in smoke was from stepping on the gas and heating the 2nd cat. But in the mirror, it sure looked like bad rings or valve stem seals...

I put the car on the ramps and wiped down EVERYTHING under there. What a mess. The continuing smoke was from the leftovers, which I hadn't expected to last that long. Still some puffs from the flange area between cat and rearward pipe, but appears to be no more leak.

What a mess.

[computiNATEor]

Uh, that's not a valve cover gasket, I suspect. Low oil will cause a "check oil level" warning. "Engine Failsafe Mode" is entirely different. Was there a high-pressure VANOS oil line failure?

[geargrinder]

Was it something I said?

I posted some stuff a day or 2 ago and it hasn't appeared yet. Maybe the moderator is on vaca... or maybe I didn't click POST...

In case my earlier post is lost in the ether, my son's 2003 530i started smoking like CRAZY while on the highway... just BILLOWING stinky oil smoke. He lost over 3.5 quarts of oil... Car went into limp mode due, I assume, to low oil. Big mess all over the exhaust, all the way back to the differential, and even sprayed around the engine compartment. Looked like the valve cover gasket, but MAN... how can it lose that much oil that fast that suddenly? My wife's E60 was dripping a little, so I got fair warning when starting the car and getting a brief oil stink.

This appeared to be leaking in the rear exhaust side - same as my wife's. But also from up by the vanos, and around by Cyl 1. Spark plug number 1 was swimming in oil, apparently long enough to kill the rubber boot.

I replaced the gasket. Still smoking. Fearing rings and burning oil, but that didn't make sense unless he killed the rings due to low oil. I think the spike in smoke was from stepping on the gas and heating the 2nd cat. But in the mirror, it sure looked like bad rings or valve stem seals...

I put the car on the ramps and wiped down EVERYTHING under there. What a mess. The continuing smoke was from the leftovers, which I hadn't expected to last that long. Still some puffs from the flange area between cat and rearward pipe, but appears to be no more leak.

What a mess.

Your son failed to check the proper control indicators during the cycle I'm afraid. (Ha. RPG joke).

I'm with Nate. Way too much mess to be typical VC failure. 3.5 quarts!? I mean you're right it will burn off for a long time... But that amount of leakage is crazy.

Suggest to start your own thread too BTW.

[djb2]

Seconding the suggestion: a massive oil leak suggested a pressurized system failure. The most common failure is the oil filter housing gasket. The VANOS oil hose is also a common leak point, but it tends to seep out rather than spray at high volume.

A valve cover leak won't normally dump lots of oil. The slight negative pressure from the CCV minimizes leaks while the engine is running. A small volume of oil then drains out when the engine is shut off. Keep in mind that that it might not be simply a leaking gasket, the valve cover itself is known to crack from improper installation or age. Usually that is a invisible crack following an internal support rib, but you might have lost an entire corner from age.

My guess is that you have two problems, a minor long-term valve cover leak and an immediate crisis leak.

[theWalkinator]

Brought my 2013 X5 50i (with N63 engine) to local BMW dealer this morning due to excessive oil burning issue, just got call that from the dealer that valve stem seals need to be replaced and BMW is covering that cost, in addition, steering rack is leaking oil so it also needs to be replaced, one tie rod end is sized and might need to be replaced, 2 front tires are worn and needs to be replaced, alignment needs to be done. Since valve stem seal job is covered by BMW, the rest of repair will cost $6000, I happen to have Carmax warranty so steering rack is covered by that, 2 front tires cost $980 and alignment cost $250.

I will buy tires somewhere else, I paid $300 to Just Tires for 3 year alignment package so I will take my car there to get alignment done after I got new tires.

[E39540V8]

Just went through this with my E39. Valve cover, upper timing and oil pan gaskets, water tube and accumulator seals,valley pan, pretty much every piece of rubber. I also replaced the center link, outer tie rods, sway bar bushes and links and the control arms.
The thing is once these are done, you have a car that is just so nice to drive, it is better than any shitbox available. Now about the upper radiator hose leak at the radiator lol.

E39540v8