Another fart can packin' Prelude dies hard.

[GuapOh]

Splendid day for motoring in rural Nor Cal. I'm heading southbound on CA Route 70 from Chico area towards Marysville when I hear a very loud droning exhaust note coming from my rear.

Check the rearview....early 90's Prelude, canary yellow with a 10 foot tall CB antenna. WTF I'm thinking. These 2 dorks roll past at about 70 mph and they are all about lookin' cool. The honda's fart can is singing it's soprano exhaust song and I'm ready to heave a lung from all the black smoke this thing is pouring out. I've got Roy Orboson in the CD player and sunroof lettin' the glorious Nor Cal sunshine in. These weenies are a complete assault on my senses.

I drop to 3rd and mash the gas. The M54 motor is eating up the roadway and the punks of the day are left feeling all alone in less than 30 seconds. After shifting into 4th and holdin' it down for a few seconds I lift out of the gas about 300 yards past them going 105 mph and figure I'm free to enjoy my cruise once more.

No such luck. These human mistakes chase me down once I slow down to double digits. As Joe Dirt comes motor'n up he's got his CB mic in hand and seems to be lookin' at me as if I should answer his "breaker breaker". Accordingly I pick up my cell phone and show him that I am without his 1975 state of the art mobile communications device. He seems pissed-off now cuz' some yuppie lookin' dude in a suit and bright red european machine is making him rue the day. His partner in the "rio's" seat is telling him to do some of the "pilot shit".

The canary yellow Prelude pulls forward and as I am just watching this saga unfold I get the 3,2,1 finger countdown from these superheros. Fine, I just press the peddle down slowly, no need to downshift, the M54 has easily double the torque of this cracked up canary ricer. We are side by side until about 100. I'm not even trying to kill this guy at this point but am rather toying him like a cat does a mouse its already killed.

As we move through 100 mph on a long, straight and level piece of Highway 70 Mr. Prelude begins wandering in his lane way too much for my comfort so I quickly downshift to 4th, move out on him to 115 mph and establish some minimum safe distance for myself.

Damn good thing I did. Do you know what happens next? Yep, you guessed it, 110MPH was the break away speed for the Honda's magnetic antenna mast. Wind resistance on this dork's CB mast causes the damn thing to become dislodged from the roof center and swing on its cable tether which is going into the car through the passenger door. The magnetic mast is being dragged and flung all over the roadway at over 100 mph. (ouch) The picture in my rearview is beautifully funny and I'm laughin' at the top of my lungs.

The co-pilot then gets the great idea to roll down his window and pull in the antenna. Yeah right.

As soon as the driver slows down below 100 and his passenger reels in about 3 feet of antenna cable guess what happens next? The damn magnetic mast base becomes attracted to the first metal it can smell and WHACK!!, it attaches itself to the lower portion of the Prelude's right rear quarter panel aimed at a downwards angle. Accordingly, the magnetic base holds the mast on the earth while it is ground away into nothing by the blacktop.

At this point I nearly have to pull over from lack of O2 cuz' I've been laughin' so damn hard I can hardly inhale and my eyes are choked with tears.

All of this took place near Oroville, CA. For those who don't know it. Oroville is CA's welfare and disability fraud capital and is considered as a resort town by the majority of its citizens which relocated there from Arkansas.

Damn, I love my Dinan 5 and am simply amazed at the stupidity of people who think they can best the e39 in a 10 year old piece of rice garbage or a General Lee horn Mullit packin' Dodge Truck.

The only time I get to have realistic runs is when I'm down in the city where I can always find a willing participant but up here in the Nor Cal Sierra Foothills european sports cars are few and far between.

[littlelee1]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA :

I'm sitting here at work laughing in my office and people are staring at me.

Awesome use of wordage

[MGregski]

Awesome writeup

[Numanoid]

Just out of curiousity, what kind of performance does the 530i have? I've seen them on the road and wondered what the outcome would be if I ran one. 3500 pounds and 225 HP, right? I'm guessing low 15s?

[GuapOh]

My 530i weighs in at a heafty 4563 lbs according to my door jamb sticker. Performance is fabulous for a car of this size and an I6 engine.

0-60 : 6.X depending on your talents. According to BMW published literature the 530i is actually faster than the 330i which weighs less (I presume).

How is this possible since they have the same engine I've often wondered?

Well, this week I discovered some interesting facts about the e39's 3.0 which it has over the e46's 3.0 litre unit. While the engine mechanicals are identical, the engines' induction and exhaust systems are not. Because of the e39's significant weight, it was given a 3.5" diameter induction and HFM/MFA. The 3 series 3.0 has a 3.0" diameter. Using 3.14 X Radius squared formula reveals that the 5 series unit flows nearly 28% more air into the engine. Accordingly, the motors have completely different engine management software programs. The 5 series likewise has a larger diameter exhaust system than the 3 series.

Obviously, these slight changes (there may be others as well) more than make up for the 530i's waistline. The M54 3.0 in the 530i has wonderful torque, especially over 3000 rpms. US versions are listed at 225 HP but euro versions are listed at 238 HP. I don't know if the US spec is more of an apeasement to our insurance industry or not but the car definately drives and pulls harder in the seat of my pants than I would expect of a 225 HP rating.

The performance of the Sport Edition is great. The only significant enhancements over the non-sport are suspension in nature. Engine and tranny is same in every respect. The Sport has gorgeous 17" BMW Style 42 BBS OEM wheels with nice rubber 235/45/17. Add in the sway bars and standard lowering springs and you have a great car. I've taken mine to the track at Thunderhill Park and laid waste to Audi A4's, A6's, Cooper S, 330i; Merc 240 Kompressor and similar European Models as well as some impressive Japanese competition including Acura TL sedan S Type and Lexus GS. While the jap cars have a higher listed HP, their V configuration engines can not produce the torque of the I6. After a day of competent track instruction I felt comfortable running with a new Volvo S60R (smokin' cool ride in the hands of a good driver) on some rural NorCal roads.

[Numanoid]

The door jamb number is your gross vehicle weight, or the weight you should not exceed with passengers and cargo. According to Edmunds, 3496 is the curb weight, probably including a 175 pound driver.

Very interesting about the different exhaust and intake system. You'd think that would get you more power, but why wouldn't they advertise it?

Looks like I'll have to run one for myself and see how things go.

[GuapOh]

Thanks. You are right, it is the GVW that I was looking at. My bad.

I would not be surprised if BMW down played the cars actual performance. This has been going on in USA for decades due to insurance company practices of charging excessive premiums for high performance cars. Prior to getting out of the car business ourselves, my family owned 4 Ford Lincoln Mercury dealerships in Southern CA for about 30 years. During this period of time Ford made some legendary performance cars (Boss 302, Boss 351 and Boss 429, Super Cobra Jet 428) as well as the full offering of Shelby vehicles. Example: Listed HP for SCJ 428 = 330, actual HP 390. Biggest fudge was on the Boss 429. That car was a limited production vehicle that ran a street tuned NASCAR HEMIspherical engine. Ford told customers the car made 340 HP. Dynos told the owners the cars made 450-500 depending upon carburation. The actual NASCAR version of the motor produced nearly 800 HP while buring race gas.

Thus, its not too hard for me to imagine that an engine listed at 225 actually produces a little more than that. Who knows? Maybe it really is 225.

Important thing to me is the woody in my shorts when under full acceleration w/DSC off and ricer is gagging to keep up.

[MGregski]

Obviously, these slight changes (there may be others as well) more than make up for the 530i's waistline. The M54 3.0 in the 530i has wonderful torque, especially over 3000 rpms. US versions are listed at 225 HP but euro versions are listed at 238 HP. I don't know if the US spec is more of an apeasement to our insurance industry or not but the car definately drives and pulls harder in the seat of my pants than I would expect of a 225 HP rating.

The output is the same, it's the method of measurement that causes the number difference. It's DIN vs SAE. Same thing goes for the M5's 400 vs 394.

[GuapOh]

What do these different methods measure/mean?

[LWRNCE]

Great write up! BREAKER BREAKER SCHSSSHt!

-LWRNCE

[coolio4433]

That's the best thing I've read all week! : :

[Numanoid]

What do these different methods measure/mean?

SAE is the American standard for measuring HP, DIN is the Euro standard. No idea how the actual method is different though. The 2.5 liter engine (mine) is rated at 184 HP SAE and 192 DIN.

But what you said is generally true with BMW in particular. I've heard that their engine specs are usually on the conservative side, with up to 10% HP variance (over the rated, not under) for their M engines.

[Hugo]

Damn, man, that was a great write up!

I wish I could write that well. If I was english, it would help, I suppose...

[hoonpv]

some luders are just so pathetic...

[STL Avus M3]

Great write up. I really needed a good laugh.

Thanks

[GuapOh]

Bump.

[aschueler]

Echo the other comments....if this isn't true it really SHOULD be. I would have crapped my pants if I had been there....

[Carzzi]

Wow, I didn't know about the differences in the intake sizes between the E39 and E46 M54B30 engines!
Pray post a link for me with more info on this

[M Roady]

Bump.

Nice bump! This made me cry!

[sexy325]

i think i've heard of this one before... there was a thread about some old fart can prelude's antenna falling off lol...

good kill

[Spags]

Is it just me or is everyone that has a CB antenna a piece of crap? Great write up by the way, I'm still laughing.

[BumblBeeRacer]

Jeez are you an English teacher?

[slocar]

That was the best thing I read on here in a while.

Oh, nice kill.

[Tom///m3]

All of this took place near Oroville, CA.

No need to say anymore. Been there I can TOTALLY picture those guys. Nice lake they have. Similiar to Ukiah in terms of ppl and community.

So the 530 has a larger maf than a 330? and different exhaust??

PS: where is the picture you took in your rearview mirror?

Tom

[willmtbike4food]

PS: where is the picture you took in your rearview mirror?

No no no.... he was just using that to describe what he saw as he looked in his mirror... I got my hopes up, initially, too, for a picture...