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Thread: Dumbass of the year award

  1. #1
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    Dumbass of the year award

    So last night about 3:30am, my wife wakes me up, "is that your car alarm going off?". It was. It was parked in the driveway, so I look out the window and see nothing out of the ordinary. I disabled the alarm, and the doors unlocked. Then I see some dude with no shirt on get into my car! I'm thinking "what the fuck". I immedately lock the doors, then double lock/arm. Owned . I tell the wife to call 911, while I go outside and snap a quick cell phone pic of the guy just incase. After the first picture, he started getting pissed off and gave me the finger. I then went into the garage and grabbed my 3lb sledge. I stand next to the driver's door with the sledge in my hand and a very angry look on my face. If he tries to bust his way out of the car, he's getting squashed. The kid is obviously scared shitless, as he doesn't even move or look at me. Cops come and ask how I locked him in the car, and I tell them about the double lock.

    Turns out the kid is drunk as f*ck and he told the cops he thought my house was his friend's house. Sounds like a bullshit story, but whatever. He also threw up on the outside of my passenger door.

    But yeah, double lock saves the day.

    Obligatory picture of owned moron in his cage:


  2. #2
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    That is absolutely f'ing awesome! Coulda been dangerous but you know what, we can't continue to allow this kind of shite to happen to us.

    Props for standing up and fighting back!

  3. #3
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    What a dumbass!!

  4. #4
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    Well played.
    I like my car.

  5. #5
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    Very, very nice job!! Kid looks like a total tweaker.

    Years ago, I had my DeLorean in a car show. I walked away of rust a couple of moments. As I was walking back, I noticed my doors were closed (they were open when I walked away). I thought 'maybe a car show official closed them for safety as I wasn't around'. Nope! I walked up to my car and a bum had gotten in, closed all of the doors and then locked himself in. I called the cops and the removed him. As they were yanking him out, he kept screaming things like "f*** You man, if you don't want people in there, don't drive a car like that you stupid Mother F***er". Real class act. My car smelled like rotten feet and booze for a week. It was beyond disgusting!!
    -Dusty


    05' BMW 325ci, Sapphire Black
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  6. #6
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    nicely done, sir. gotta love electric locks.
    1991 BMW 325i(Current Daily) (S52)
    I have carburetors, and I'm not afraid to use them!
    There are always other fish (engines) in the sea (Craigslist)
    Life is about enjoying the engine you are sitting behind.

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by blackongrey View Post
    Well played.
    This.

    ***Bagged E36 328I ***
    FACEBOOK
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  8. #8
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    He looks like a tool, apparently he isn't used to things such as a BMW. Way to go man!

    3M finder vents = 100hp a piece

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by E36ic4Me
    Very, very nice job!! Kid looks like a total tweaker.

    Years ago, I had my DeLorean in a car show. I walked away of rust a couple of moments. As I was walking back, I noticed my doors were closed (they were open when I walked away). I thought 'maybe a car show official closed them for safety as I wasn't around'. Nope! I walked up to my car and a bum had gotten in, closed all of the doors and then locked himself in. I called the cops and the removed him. As they were yanking him out, he kept screaming things like "f*** You man, if you don't want people in there, don't drive a car like that you stupid Mother F***er". Real class act. My car smelled like rotten feet and booze for a week. It was beyond disgusting!!
    It was probably Christopher Lloyd.

  10. #10
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    Just thank god he threw up on the OUTSIDE of your car!
    David M.
    '96 328 Sedan

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by paniolo View Post
    Just thank god he threw up on the OUTSIDE of your car!
    Hahaha, yes. I was quite happy to find no vomit inside the car.

  12. #12
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    epic picture

  13. #13
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    What an idiot. Glad your car wasn't destroyed!!

  14. #14
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    Thread of the year, hands down. What a tool... and respect to you for having patience with him. Im not proud to say it but I dont think I would have been quite as patient.

  15. #15
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    this thread should be stickied in some way... Don't mess with bmw drivers!!

    look on his face with you behind the camera? Priceless....

  16. #16
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    Wow. Glad you cought the guy. I would be glad yet mad that he would be in my car. Anothe punk learned his leason hopefully.

  17. #17
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    Dude that's a great story. What a POS person. What is going through young kids minds!?

    1993 318i with OBD1 M50 & 5spd swap. Bil/HR suspension, 3.15 diff. M3 Body Kit. 225/45/17s all around. Adjustable rear control arms. Added black seats and door cards to tan interior. Clear corners and DJ auto headlights, thin-line AE, 4500 HIDs. Way more to come.

  18. #18
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    I'd say he looks a little spooked
    What are the tattoos?


    If you're trying to make me feel better about this scenario, give it up....

  19. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by adamnur View Post
    It was probably Christopher Lloyd.
    A Back to the Future Joke made to a DeLorean owner? I've never heard one before. LOL!
    -Dusty


    05' BMW 325ci, Sapphire Black
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  20. #20
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    There HAS to be a place to post that story and that pic so more people can see it. If only youtube allowed pics....I'm not sure this is exactly why BMW invented double lock but it sure as hell did its job.

    Sweet story

  21. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by Found94 View Post
    Thread of the year, hands down. What a tool... and respect to you for having patience with him. Im not proud to say it but I dont think I would have been quite as patient.
    Once I realized it was just one unarmed guy, I wanted to beat him senseless, but by this time the cops had been called and there were neighbours watching. I don't want the cops on my ass for putting some useless kid in a coma.


    Quote Originally Posted by scooper View Post
    this thread should be stickied in some way... Don't mess with bmw drivers!!

    look on his face with you behind the camera? Priceless....
    His face was even more priceless when he saw me coming from the garage holding the 3lb sledge. A look of sheer panic, then he just stared at the floor and stopped moving.

  22. #22
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    I only have a full size sledge, not very handy in close quarters, but a dead blow and a large tin snips might put the fear of god in some punk.

    1998 328is 5sp Cosmos Schwarz Metallic Sparco strut brace factory X-brace M rear diffuser Apexcone ellipsoid w/55w 5000K HIDs thinline angel eyes/smoked Lamin-X blacked out tails corners side markers and fogs LEDs where ever they fit, ASC-T & CDV delete DDM pedals 35% tint all around Eibach Pro Kit springs and HD lip. Poly LCABs and RTABs. 2003 325XI, StahlGrau metallic money pit, auto, 17" style 73's and just black grills.

  23. #23
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    I love that you thought to take a picture! Easily the best thread I have ever seen.

  24. #24
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    Nice move. I like the deer in the headlights look on the kids face lol.
    1989 325is new DD
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  25. #25
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    awesome. story made my day.

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