Just bought my 540i

[ukray]

Hiya guys hows it all going?

I recently bought a 97 540 over here in the UK. I'm not sure if they are different specs over yonder but here its a 286bhp/320lb torque, 4.4 v8. auto/steptronic box
I know the m3 in the states is a different engine, different head and block etc so maybe its the same for the 540?

Anyways, theres problems heh, and maybe you guys can help me out.

Theres a knocking coming from the drivers front suspension, sounds like a top mount to me but i was reading on here and a few other forums that it could be the braking arm bush? you can feel the knocking also coming through the steering wheel.
Also, when braking from anything over 60mph the steering wheel shakes really badly back n fourth, can be really scary when doing much higher speeds. Right now i won't drive it over 70 just to be safer.

The passenger side leccy mirror also doesnt work, i've only just got the car back from the place i bought it and they say they just can't fix it, replaced the motor checked the wiring etc.

The steering rack squeels quite bad when your stationary and turn the wheel, is this common when the rack is under full load?

The engine sounded ROUGH when i picked it up today, tappets were at full force, but then they said it had been stood for the time its been there, i'll check it out in a bit when i take it for another run, see if the drive home has got the oil functioning properly again.
But i also read in another post on these boards that it could be the vanos system playing up?
The car has done 136000 miles by the way. which although is a lot, i know well looked after ones can go forever. maybe mine isn't

At low revs there is a slight flapping sound, pulling in when i got back, you could really hear the flapping as the road is narrow and reflects all sounds, only way to describe it is it sounded like a mud guard flapping against the wheel or something.

Anyways, i really appreciate any help towards these areas as were on the verge of taking it back for a full refund.
I wont even begin to go into the FULL story so far about it......we'd be here all day :help .
It was a high miler, and cheaper of the ones i went to see, and i'm fully aware that some things will need replacing, but stuff like the suspension knocking and the insane juddering with the steering wheel flicking back n fourth when you brake isn't on.

Thanks for any replies

Ray

[mish]

How's it hangin partner!

Knocking suspension is most likely lower control arms along with the ball joints going bad. These two parts come together on 540 and usually due at around 60K miles, so you are about geady for your third set. Usually you would hear this banging at a slow speed going over some bumps and you would feel it in the steering wheel.

Jerking steering wheel is nothing more than warp front brake rotors (disks). It should not cost more than $50 each in parts + new set of Mintex pads ~$50 (made in UK BTW).

Screaming power steering is most likely slipping belt, I am not sure how 97 model belts are routed, but I would check your belt condition, maybe it is all dry and cracked.

Noisy motor is not VANOS, cos you have none. 99 was the first year with VANOS on it. So check your oil to begin with and see if it is low, too old, or too thin.

Keep us posted and we will tackle your "gas saver" together.
BTW, is your steering wheel on the other side?

[Dwayne]

Knocking suspension is most likely lower control arms along with the ball joints going bad. These two parts come together on 540 and usually due at around 60K miles, so you are about geady for your third set. Usually you would hear this banging at a slow speed going over some bumps and you would feel it in the steering wheel.

Jerking steering wheel is nothing more than warp front brake rotors (disks). It should not cost more than $50 each in parts + new set of Mintex pads ~$50 (made in UK BTW).Bad control arms and ball joints can also cause that shaking when braking. Check the arms and joints before spending money on new rotors.

[ukray]

heh thanks for the replys guys.

Nah it definately aint the rotors, fronts are fine and pads are pretty much brand new. The rears have brand spanking new discs and pads fitted this week by the dealer who sold it to me .
Which leads me to think it must be the control arm or ball joints like you guys say.

Mish wrote:
-------------------------------------
"Knocking suspension is most likely lower control arms along with the ball joints going bad. These two parts come together on 540 and usually due at around 60K miles, so you are about geady for your third set. Usually you would hear this banging at a slow speed going over some bumps and you would feel it in the steering wheel.
-------------------------------------

yeah, that is what its like, driving along and you can feel it all through the steering wheel, every little bump. At high speeds you can also hear the knocking though, really it is just constant. Also when you come to a stop theres usually one last knock, although turns into a clunk. which is why i thought it might have been the braking arm bush???? or is it the control arm bush???
I've read other posts detailing stuff about the braking arm bush or something, when it goes the steering starts to shake from higher speeds under braking.

Just an aside, by control arm, do you mean the wishbone? Bolts from the wheel hub onto the subframe?
i'm pretty good with cars and DIY jobs, i've done engine transplants, rebuilds, repairs, suspension etc etc before, but sometimes some of the yank words for things escapes me lol
Just this is my first BM, so maybe they have different terminology for things too...... :eyecrazy

I read another thread too about the squeeling being a slip ring in the rack??? in fact it might have been on here right at the bottom:
http://www.540i6.com/probsfixes.html

Mish wrote:
-------------------------------------
Noisy motor is not VANOS, cos you have none. 99 was the first year with VANOS on it. So check your oil to begin with and see if it is low, too old, or too thin.
-------------------------------------

wow thank god for that <---wipes brow. last year i was looking at buying a m3 evo (3.2 lt s6 321bhp) and the most prone part on them was the DOUBLE vanos, exhaust and inlet sides. was always a worry when looking for a decent one.
didn't really like the power band on them though and was slightly dissapointed with it, at least the ones i drove. Coming from turbo'ed cars the torque rush got me and thats when i started looking at the v8's........ much more fun power band, its almost instant :buttrock

One other thing that i noticed coming home today, is that the steering felt a lot heavier than it did when i took it in. also it seems to be tramlining a lot more and at 2 points in the journey, the car once swerved out to the left and once to the right. Only way i can describe it is like when you get a strong gust of wind on the motorway and you have to compensate for the side on force, only maybe 5 times harder.
Would that be anything to do with the ball joints/bushs/control arms?

As for the oil, yeah its definately due an oil n filter change, service lights are down to the last 2, and the oil aint too clear lol.

i'm also going to be taking it to a BM specialist which is just down the road from me. Get them to give it the once over and a verdict. But i like to go in there knowing my stuff too, never know whos out to rip you off nowadays :nono
Then if all looks like its gone tits up, time to get my refund and start looking for a better example.
shame really, i love the canyon red with the tan leather look.

Thanks again for the help everyone, i really appreciate it.

Cheers

Ray

lol BTW, yeah, steering wheel is on the other side, so are the cars too :cool

[mish]

You definitely have some loose joints on the front there. That is what causes your steering to wonder left and right.
540 does nto have the "wishbone", instead it has 2 arms, with 2 ball joints going to each hub in somewhat of a parallel, crossing each other right by the hub. This design allows for the fancy low radius turns when wheel tilts funny. Usually the fat arm is the one to go sooner and the slim one will last little longer (less than 136K miles though). Another thing, 540 does not have steering rack, unlike 528 it has a steering box, like the older cars did. So in your case I think you simply have slow power steering fluid seepage somewhere on the pressure hose, which causes steering to get harder. Air bubble in the power steering fluid can also cause whining and mumbling noise.
Depending how cheap you got the car I do not see any reason yet to return it, unless you can buy barely used M3 with this money:)

Another question, how do you shift with your left hand when it is meant to be used mostly for scratching and waving at girls? :confused

[Dwayne]

Another question, how do you shift with your left hand when it is meant to be used mostly for scratching and waving at girls? :confusedEasy, you scratch and wave with your right hand. :)

[mish]

Easy, you scratch and wave with your right hand. :)
But girls are always on the left side! :eyecrazy

[ukray]

hehe thats the reason i got the steptronic, jam it into auto mode and i can wave, signal and scratch with whatever hand i please :stickoutt
heh, always wondered how you guys drive manuals when you have to change with your right hand, driven a few leftys over here and out in the states and it reduced me to a pre-driving test, gearbox muncher.
Just couldn't get used to it lol.

Man thats interesting to know about the 2 arms no wishbone. Fancy germans do it again. And no steering rack, hmmmm very interesting.
The screeching coming from the power steering like i say only happens when under full load. you have to be stationairy to get it to cry out lol.
Any movement in the car, slight roll forward and it will not screech at all.
When it does happen, its always at a quarter turn.

heh as for the price, well, its my own fault 'cos i bought the cheepest one i could find that looked in good nick. But the thing is, i don't mind doin some minor repairs on it, dodgy leccys, no problem, a ball joint here and there, maybe a damaged strut....doesn't bother me in the slightest as long as they are fixable and i can get hold of the parts fairly cheap.

now parts aint a problem, tons of scrappies round here who do nothing but BM stuff, and also the saving grace for a lot of car owners is GSF
http://www.gsfcarparts.com/
cheap as chips for brand new parts.

Price wise i paid 5k for it, but they can be had for even lower on ebay, think the last one i saw on there fetched a grand total of 3.8k...... :eek:
Higher end ones, 2002 models etc are still fetching 15k+

Didn't have a bad spec either, dechromed from the factory, exact same interior as Dwayne's there, minus the sat nav.
dual air con, clim control, mtech steering wheel and suspension, parking sensor, multispoke deep dish 17's etc.

as for m3 buying, honestly, the car handl4ed miles better than the 5, and the steering was a lot finer and pinpoint. but i just didnt get on with the evo lump. drove me nuts having to wind it up all the time to get anywhere. haha saying that though, 75mph in 2nd gear on the limiter was pretty special.
Truely i was dissapointed with the power though, didn't actually feel fast to me, even though you were actually going fast heh. The first time i drove one i was expecting to get out and change me pants, but that feeling of being shit yer pants scared never came.
Power was very smooth and subdued, wasn't my kind of thing at all.
As for price on them, early normal m3's from 94 are fetching about 5k ish, ebay prices even lower.
98's are still pulling in 10k ish.

oh by the way, what oil should i use in the 540i? It definately needs some so ill run down and pick up a litre or 2 and see if it makes any difference to the noisey tappets.

Cheers lads

Ray

[ukray]

oh another quick question while im here,

The traction control, should i see a difference in any dash lights or the asc light when i press it?
currently, you can't tell if the ASC light is depressed, on or off on the centre console. And am i right in thinking that if TC engadges, only then does the light come on on the dash?
I ask 'cos when i was out the other day in the rain, i pulled off, only lightly in auto mode and the back end swung out about 8 inches, backed off and it snapped right back in. But it's worrying if TC doesn't actually work.

Cheers again lads

[Phat Ham]

pardon my yankness, but what is a "leccy?"

[Dwayne]

My girlfriend and I drove right past Derby this summer on our road trip in England for a week. We drove over from Germany, took the ferry over. The learning curve for driving on the other side of the road was pretty steep, but I got used to it pretty quick. I think it would have actually been easier to drive a car with the driver on the right, it was pretty unusual at times, but fun. Those damn roundabouts though, especially with 3 or more lanes... yeesh. :)

Oil: There's actually a recent thread here (http://forums.bimmerforums.com/forum/showthread.php?t=339279) with a few different oils that people run. I personally use Mobil 1's 0W-40 oil. Do you know whether your car is currently running synthetic or regular?

ASC light: I have DSC, but I imagine it should look the same. When my TC engages, the light blinks in the cluster, between the speedo and the tach. When I push the button to turn the DSC off, the light turns on and stays on until I push the button again.

EDIT:

pardon my yankness, but what is a "leccy?"leccy = electricity/electric over there

[ukray]

pardon my yankness, but what is a "leccy?"

heh yeah sorry about that, lazy typing does it again :nono
like Dwayne says just shorter for electric


My girlfriend and I drove right past Derby this summer on our road trip in England for a week. We drove over from Germany, took the ferry over. The learning curve for driving on the other side of the road was pretty steep, but I got used to it pretty quick. I think it would have actually been easier to drive a car with the driver on the right, it was pretty unusual at times, but fun. Those damn roundabouts though, especially with 3 or more lanes... yeesh.

Man that must have been a fun drive, esspecially if you took the BM
Derby way is real pretty too esspecially in the summer, can't beat it for the country views and scenery.
lol @ roundabouts with 3 lanes * whisper, night times are the best, perfect oppourtunity to test out the sideways action with the ol RWD.

Still though, nothing can be compared to the Autobahn. You guys have it made over there...... not to mention the Nurburg. Ever taken the Bm round it?
Saw an awesome vid clip not so long back of a CSL caneing it up round there, amazing, simply amazing.

Man, i'd have to say then thats another broken thing on my BM then, cos a) theres no difference in the ASC light on the centre console when you press it, and the light on the dash clocks doesn't light up when you press it to let you know its on or off.
I'm going to have to try and get the back end to step out ever so slightly and check again to see if the dash light appears. My guess is though.... it won't :mad

Thanks for the tread man, i'll nip out and pick up some 5w30 i think.
I'm sure it could use it.

Cheers

Ray

[Dwayne]

Man that must have been a fun drive, esspecially if you took the BM
Derby way is real pretty too esspecially in the summer, can't beat it for the country views and scenery.
lol @ roundabouts with 3 lanes * whisper, night times are the best, perfect oppourtunity to test out the sideways action with the ol RWD.We were in Europe for two months, staying in Germany with some of my family for the most part. I was doing some work for my uncle, so I used a company car for the road trip, a '99 diesel VW Golf with 200k km on the clock. Top speed of just a little over 200 kph, funny as hell. Daytime roundabouts were usually ok, but scary at times. I'm trying to remember what town we were in, we were on our way to Edinburgh, and we had to go through the ugliest intersection I've ever seen. It looked like someone took two or three roundabouts, joined them together, ran roads between them, stuck up a few signals, and called it a day. I'm not even kidding when at one point I think I closed my eyes, floored it, and hoped for the best. At night, yes, we had fun. There were several times when I just stayed in the roundabout, going quicker and quicker like a centrifuge. :D


Still though, nothing can be compared to the Autobahn. You guys have it made over there...... not to mention the Nurburg. Ever taken the Bm round it?Unfortunately, no. My car is over here in the states with me. I wanted to get up to the ring, but didn't really have a decent vehicle to do it in. I promised myself the next time I visit family I'll make a detour to the ring with a nice rental. :) The Autobahn is a blast though. Top speed I've done is a tad over 165mph in a fairly new diesel Audi A6 back in '00. That was fun. :D


Man, i'd have to say then thats another broken thing on my BM then, cos a) theres no difference in the ASC light on the centre console when you press it, and the light on the dash clocks doesn't light up when you press it to let you know its on or off.
I'm going to have to try and get the back end to step out ever so slightly and check again to see if the dash light appears. My guess is though.... it won't :mad I'd have it checked out, too. If you step it out a bit, you'll definitely feel it kick in it if it's working, so maybe the light in the dash isn't working.

[bähnstormer]

congrats and CDV that biotch....

[ukray]

I'm not even kidding when at one point I think I closed my eyes, floored it, and hoped for the best.

lol classic, reminds me of sitting in the car with a friend of mine, for some reason, roundabouts are totally non existant so she blindly puts her foot down, shuts her eyes and goes for it :help

heh sounds like you hit spaghetti junction in birmingham, to this day i still don't know my way round it, avoid it at all costs and shudder to think i might have to one day drive through it.


Unfortunately, no. My car is over here in the states with me. I wanted to get up to the ring, but didn't really have a decent vehicle to do it in. I promised myself the next time I visit family I'll make a detour to the ring with a nice rental. The Autobahn is a blast though. Top speed I've done is a tad over 165mph in a fairly new diesel Audi A6 back in '00. That was fun.

oh i didn't realise, i thought you were out in Germany. Yeah u'll have to man, and in a rental too :D Thrash the pants off it and hand it back at the end of your fun.
hehe 165mph eh?? thats some speed, fastest i've dared to put a car through was the higher end of 140mph on the clocks. Then the twitching took over and i had to back off...... private road of course!!! :rolleyes

Indeed, thats what i thought, maybe the ASC bulb in the clocks has gone, but the way it stepped out from standing start and low revs in the wet makes me think its not even working at all.

I've got it booked in at this BMW indy specialist in Derby, they seem very good upon first meeting and are very keen to help me out and go over it with a fine tooth comb.

Hey i found this on the net http://www.unixnerd.demon.co.uk/suspension.html

check out the bit under suspension faults. Not sure if thats soley relating to the E30 or if it covers all......
But after reading that, the symptoms that he describes are EXACTLY what i have.
Esspecially the parts about the 3wandering about when changing lane, knocking coming from the failed trailing arm bush and the juddering above 55mph.

Ray

[Dwayne]

heh sounds like you hit spaghetti junction in birmingham, to this day i still don't know my way round it, avoid it at all costs and shudder to think i might have to one day drive through it.I just looked up spaghetti junction, and that wasn't it. I'll see if I can find the intersection tonight on the map I have. It wasn't a highway or anything, it was just a complete mess. I think someone sneezed all over the construction plans, tried to wipe it off, smeared everything, and the intersection ended up accordingly.

[mish]

Ladies, let's not go off the topic here.
We need an update on how this "BM" is coming along.

[k5r]

You need to find a knowledgeable mechanic you can trust. Even though the brakes were done they may not be done properly. You should get everything re-checked.

[ukray]

hey guys, hows everyone doing?

ok, the saga continues.

Had an independant check the car out today, lovely bloke, called me "dear" and was highly patronising......"why would you want such a stupidly big engine??"...he knew his stuff though, so i can turn a blind eye.

anyways, we could only get it over a pit for now as the wheel free lift was occupied by me mate.
He checked over all the bushes, front and back, couldnt find any play in ANY of them. The front control arm is brand new as the place told me when i got it back the other day.
Saying that though, as i was made to sit in the car and shake the steering wheel from side to side, this creaking got louder and louder, and from what the guy told me it was the new control arm on the drivers side :shifty
He said that the creaking was actually coming from the part and could feel it when he had his hand on it...... ill open that one up to the floor :evil2

There is also an oil leak saturating the plastic covers under the engine. I could see some leakage under the right hand side (if looking at the engine from the front of the car) closest corner of the block. Rocker gasket maybe?

Handbrake as i told the guy is utterly useless, thank god for park!!

He said the kick down in auto mode was a tad slow too.

He took it for a drive, confirmed the knocking from the front drivers suspension, and feeling it through the wheel. But could not find anything wrong with the bushes. Top mount then?

He also tested out the sudden juddering of the steering wheel at 65mph and above when braking.
Eliminated the brakes as its only when your above 65mph, anything lower and they stop smoothly.

Umm thats all i can remmeber for now though, he's going to do a full inspection as soon as we can get on the wheel free, says he needs to simulate the car in road state but with the wheels free....etc.

And of course its booked in at a proper BMW specialist on the 19th.
They are meant to be the dogs danglies when it comes to ANYTHING BM.

Untill then, any sugesstions lads???

Cheers

Ray

[mish]

Don't give up keep looking, I am almost sure your lower control arms (ball joints) are causing the knock and steering feedback. Are you sure both arms are new on both sides, or only the front, or rear set?
It was hard to diagnose my loose ball joints, but good mechanic with long prybar found the slack.

And what do they know about stupidly big engines, 540 is a bare necessity if you ask me :buttrock It is not the size of the engine, it is how it's managed. 18mpg is not so bad even for most V6s.

[Dwayne]

18mpg is not so bad even for most V6s.But absolutely horrible for an inline-6 :stickoutt

[ukray]

its only the drivers front control arm thats brand new. passenger side one looks its age.
Yeah thats what he was attacking it with, a long prybar.

hehe yeah, in my last car, it was a 2 lt 8v turbo running about 210bhp and 220 lb/ft (it only weighed 1200kg).... and off boost i could get anything up to 40mpg. Put your foot down and drive it constantly on boost and the guage would drop as low as 8mpg.
Petrol burning doesn't bother me in the slightest, i mean we already pay 90p a litre here, its not like conserving petrol is really gona save me any money lol

Oh also, when i was under the car, i noticed that the sheilds behind the front brakes were very warped. Not the front discs themselves, but the like tin sheilds behind them. Would they be causing the ticking sound if they were catching?
Heh maybe clutching at straws but its worth a shot!!

Thanks again lads

[mish]

These shields are usually no trouble, if those were rubbing it would wear off quickly.

[ukray]

heya everyone,

Ok, well..... i got the car back from the Hughes Brothers yesterday (BMW indy specialist) after it being with them for about 2 hours.

They were really sound, top bunch of geezers.

Anyways, its worse than i thought, but heres the list of what they found:

1) N/S Door mirror inoperative from switch
2) engine ticking over lumpy
3) air conditioning inoperative
4) excessive parkingbrake travel
5) vehicle due service
6) front cup holder O/S not working
7) drivers door noisey on opening (squeeking)
8) trip display pixelated
9) front washers inoperative
10) headlamp washers inoperative
11) front number plate insecure
12) rear cup holder broken
13) corrosion to body inside fuel flap
14) O/S/R door seal split
15) O/S/F door window channel seal insecure
16) O/S/F shockabsorber becoming weak
17) 2x jacking pads missing
18) O/S/R flexi brake hose perished
19) N/S/R flexi brake hose perished
20) exhaust centre silencer support mounting missing
21) both front to rear metal brake pipes corroded
22) both rocker cover gaskets leaking
23) excessive play in O/S/F anti roll bar link
24) engine undersheild damaged
25) engine oil leak?
26) front brake discs excessively pitted
27) play in N/S/F inner tie rod joint
28) O/S/F brake pipe corroded
29) O/S/F lower wheel arch liner damaged
30) front road springs corroded
31) O/S/F road spring saddle split
32) boot microswitch inop.
33) excessive play in N/S/R lower ball joint
34) play in O/S/R lower ball joint
35) excessive play in O/S/R front suspension arm ball joint
36) all four alloy wheel badges need changing
37) polly V belt worn
38) air con belt worn
39) signs of oil leak around oil filter housing
40) powersteering fluid level low in res
41) O/S lambda probe plug cover insecure
42) cheap battery fitted to vehicle
43) exhaust catalysts noisy
44) abs+asc lights inop
45) engine cutting out (intermittant)

*sigh, he also added he could have carried on looking for another 2 hours and easily found another 2 pages of faults :(

Well, i'm bringing in trading standards now, see if i cant get my money back from this stealer, Hughes brothers said, its pretty unsafe to be driving, esspecially with the O/S/R ball joint being so knackered - said theres close to an inch play in it :eek:

Would at least explain the wavey driving and the fact the back end is so gung ho.

Thing is, when i bought the car, i drove it home 80 miles, and there wasnt any of the wavey back end, nor were the cats rattling, or did the engine sound like a bag of shite. Then after i took it back up to the delaers, and they gave it to their garage to fix (i gave them a list of faults at the time) they had it for 3 weeks. when i finally raised hell to get the car back and picked it up (was fobbed off everyday on the phone "sure, its being fixed as we speak blah blah) it rolled round the corner sounding like a bag of crap. things hadn't been fixed that i asked - basically they did 4 hours work on it in 3 weeks.
To make matters worse, the interior was filthy, it had gone in pristine, i know, cos i only drove it twice after buying it, once to drive it home, and once to take it back lol - upon further inspection i looked in the back only to find the rear leathers covered in DOGHAIR.
So my guess is, either A) the garage they gave it to started using the 540 while they were "fixing" it, or B) the dealers where i bought it at were doin the same. Carting their dog round and i'm sure family members and friends.
Booting the car from cold, ragging the nuts off it..../sigh.

Anyways, excuse me while i go drive the car into their showroom....litterally!!

Ray

[Dukes]

Ray, just make sure you post pics of the wrecked showroom.

So are you going to keep her or what?

[mish]

I loved the lingo where these cheese cakes were describing every littlest problem:)
I told you about that though:
33) excessive play in N/S/R lower ball joint
34) play in O/S/R lower ball joint
35) excessive play in O/S/R front suspension arm ball joint

Most of the problems are not much to worry about, the rest is nothing but a normal wear and tear, before you go out and kill yourself, think about tackling these issues little by little.
Every one of our cars can have list that long if approached the same way and by the same pencil pushers as the above:)

[ukray]

hehe yeah, esspecially the cupholders bit :nono

Thing is, we've been treated so badly from the traders i just don't know what to do.
On one hand i still love the car, even with its faults its still superb to drive. So it makes me think, what would it actually be like with all new parts on it??? or what would a total minter be like to drive???

But just after i think, man i could fit all the parts myself and get it running mint again, i remmember the fact that the wankers who had the car have blatantly been driving the car for the 3 weeks they were meant to be "fixing" it. I knew i should have never left that road tax on it :(
The doghair in the back of it just shows they couldn't give a flying shit and makes me think to hell with it, i wanna take them to the cleaners.

ahhh hell, i don't know what to do.

i know most things on the list aint major problems, but a good 15 of them are, esspecially the cats, price wise for new ones i'm looking at 700 quid for the pair. :eyecrazy
Looks like i'm going to have to do some scrapyard hunting if i decide to get it working right again.

Just out of interest..... out of the things on the list, what would you say needs doing ASAP?............... cupholders aside obviously :D

[mish]

Here is what I would do (before killing myself):

2) engine ticking over lumpy (what the f@ck is "lumpy, unless you describe an old lady's breasts?)

7) drivers door noisey on opening (squeeking) (WD40 perhaps)

9) front washers inoperative
10) headlamp washers inoperative ( sounds like bad fuse, or something minor)

11) front number plate insecure (This one is a show stopper!)

16) O/S/F shockabsorber becoming weak (no shit!?)

18) O/S/R flexi brake hose perished
19) N/S/R flexi brake hose perished

21) both front to rear metal brake pipes corroded (how badly?)

22) both rocker cover gaskets leaking (leaking, or seeping?)
23) excessive play in O/S/F anti roll bar link (should be cheap to fix)
25) engine oil leak (maybe it is coming from the valve covers that are leaking?)

This I would look into:
27) play in N/S/F inner tie rod joint
31) O/S/F road spring saddle split
33) excessive play in N/S/R lower ball joint
34) play in O/S/R lower ball joint
35) excessive play in O/S/R front suspension arm ball joint
37) polly V belt worn
38) air con belt worn
43) exhaust catalysts noisy (gut them, like we do here!)
45) engine cutting out (intermittant)

Sounds like usual laundry list for any middle aged automobile. If I posted list for my Royal Yellow (http://209.190.76.63/Jaguar/images/done.jpg) yours would look like a joke.

[ukray]

heh, lumpy is like.....ummm, errr

Ok let me try and explain, leaving it sit at idle, revs drop low, and you can feel the shudder (lumpy) every 5 seconds as the engine turns over.
But i'm asuming thats to do with the knackered cats, lambda sensors reading the emissions wrong etc etc and retarding the engine.
I've got a couple of solutions to the cats though, get a couple of decats, nip to the scrappies and try and get a couple of second hand ones, or gut the OE ones like you say.
Not sure how gutting them will effect the emissions though come MOT time.

Heh yeah, wd40 on the door squeek, nothing bank breaking.

21) both front to rear metal brake pipes corroded (how badly?)
no idea mate, thats all the list said.

In regards to the rocker covers gaskets, they are so cheap and easy to fix, i can do them myself, unless theres special things i need to do on the v8 when fitting them.
Most other rocker gaskets i've fitted its just a case of unbolting the rocker cover, chisling the remains of the rocker gasket off both sides, slap on the new one and both down the covers. Is it the same on the v8's?

Anti roll bar, easy fix. 15 quid for the part.

Yeah i thought the same about the engine oil leak, maybe it is the oil coming from the rockers.....

There is also a lot of oil collecting in the front right wing, under the pump thats there. Not sure what that is, but the 2 braided hoses lead to it then dissapear behind the lump. Under that theres a lot of oil collecting, maybe its running along the bottom of those braided lines from the rocker covers and then dripping?

As far as the engine leak, the whole bottom part of the block is covered in oil. The plastic shield covering the bottom of the engine is also covered in oil - doesn't really help you i know but thats the state of it heh.

The other stuff really isnt that expensive to fix, parts for those are relitivly cheap.

[ukray]

oh thats what i wanted to ask you mate,

Is there any special tools i need for doing any of those jobs?

On my old Renaults a couple of jobs took Renault only tools that you couldn't buy anywhere else.
So most of the time we had to make our own fitting tools for the job heh.

Just wondering, i don't want to get the thing appart only to find i aint got a tool for the job.

Cheers mate

[mish]

You should not need to buy any specific tools, maybe one set of metric hex heads and good quality sockets.
I would power wash the entire engine (cover the alternator with plastic) and watch where oil is starting from. You are most likely dealing with minor 1-2 oil leaks that pollute entire engine compartment.

I am still smiling at that list:

11) front number plate insecure.....

I wanna meet these guys, I bet they are 60+ y/o talking like people from some old British TV show :lol

[ukray]

yeah, i've got a good collection of tools mounted up over the past years, socket sets, hex/torx keys, spanners, torque wrench, u name it. Sweet should be good to go.

Heh yeah, they were miticulous, but i did say to them to be ruthless. mark down anything and everything. So if it does actually go to court i have more ammo to throw at em. That was the main point of the inspection, cos i wanted to know the exact state of the car and if the repairs the dealer did were actually done right etc.

hehe actually, i'd kill to find a mechanic like that. Most of the time you have to deal with toothless, one eyed inbreds that look at you like your the freak cos you can string more than a 3 word sentence together.

Nah these guys were awesome though i have to say, young bunch too, the lad who did the report was only about 25.

Yeah im hoping thats the case with the leaks. the rocker cover ones don't bother me in the slightest, it's meant to be a common problem on the m62 i think? I just hope that that is the cause of the oil at the bottom of the block.

Is the alt the only thing i need to cover up?

[mish]

When you wash engine you need to make sure that water does not get into the alternator, spacially the old one. The rest of the motor is pretty much water proof. There are plenty of places where oil leak can develop, but unless your engine is clean you won't see the exact spots.

In this list of your problems I do not hear the ones that matter like:
Noticeable slip in the transmission, or loud knock coming from the lower part of the engine, or maybe oil smoke coming from exhaust.
The rest is repairable.

[ukray]

nah, no smoke at all from the exhaust, white, blue or black :D

when you say trasmission slip, what do you mean? the kick down on the auto box is slightly late sometimes, esspecially if you give it a real punt, but then this is my first ever auto i've owned so i couldn't tell ya if thats right or not.

and no knocking from the engine at all, not like a big end knock anyways.
Tappets are pretty noisy, esspecially from cold, and the cats rattle a bit but other than that no knocking.
It definately needs a damn good oil change, maybe even a good flushing too, try and shift some of that built up carbon.

hmmm the more i think of it, the more i reckon i could get her back to a gleaming state.
I've been looking at replacements on Autotrader, but still even ones costing 2/3 grand more aint as nice as this one.

[mish]

Are you still complaining about that beemer?
http://209.190.111.111/Stupid/BMW_WHEELS/front.jpg
http://209.190.111.111/Stupid/BMW_WHEELS/headless.jpg
http://209.190.111.111/Stupid/BMW_WHEELS/pullin.jpg
24 hours of labor just to find out that I did not have to pull the heads off, instead it was some misely intake gasket that mislead us all. If I ever hear from someone about how terrible to maintain these BMWs are I will poke them in the eye. :eyecrazy :eyecrazy :eyecrazy

[ukray]

hehe nice job mate :)

Don't have to tell me about maintenance at all, one of my old renaults, which i still have btw gave me nothing but hell.
I ended up rebuilding the engine, the whole front end, suspension, wishbones, ball joints, driveshafts, track ends, top mounts, hoses, water pumps, new rad, fuel pump, rear torsion bar.... trust me the list is endless. and all cos "bits never felt right" finally after practically rebulding the whole car, i found rest and relaxation in the drive :D

Check it out mate (http://www.liquidpolygon.com/folder_ray/carconversion/conversion.asp) :D

Like i said, i don't mind doin the work, just need to know where i'm at kinda thing.
And how i've been treated from this stealer, it's making me think twice about getting to fixing it all.

heh anyways.... the jag a v12? cant quite tell from the pics
think the v12 and the E-type are the only collectors left or something??

[mish]

hehe nice job mate :)

Don't have to tell me about maintenance at all, one of my old renaults, which i still have btw gave me nothing but hell.
I ended up rebuilding the engine, the whole front end, suspension, wishbones, ball joints, driveshafts, track ends, top mounts, hoses, water pumps, new rad, fuel pump, rear torsion bar.... trust me the list is endless. and all cos "bits never felt right" finally after practically rebulding the whole car, i found rest and relaxation in the drive :D

Check it out mate (http://www.liquidpolygon.com/folder_ray/carconversion/conversion.asp) :D

Like i said, i don't mind doin the work, just need to know where i'm at kinda thing.
And how i've been treated from this stealer, it's making me think twice about getting to fixing it all.

heh anyways.... the jag a v12? cant quite tell from the pics
think the v12 and the E-type are the only collectors left or something??

late 82 V12 H.E., paid $1500 for her 3 years ago to one bom. She is gaining in value last 2 years to my surprise.
http://209.190.76.63/Jaguar/images/done2.jpg
Last year I got full interior from one "scrappy" in the UK, so now I need to cut one hole for the mirror adjusters and cover another one on the wrong side:)
1982 and all 12 cylinders are like new, not a scratch. I must say, these are essentially good and overengineered engines. My neighbor has 94 Convertible XJS with 4.0L and 5 speed in it, this fall he wants to sell it, so maybe if I recycle few beer cans by then I'll have enough to get it.

Back to BMW though, if you have enough time and effort to play with French cars, you can definitely fix even the worst BMW in the world.
I can not belive British used car dealers can be dishonest :eek: All American ones are sparkling honest, am I right!? :lol

[ukray]

haha sweet mate, yeah the v12's are pure collectors. Actually the place i bought the 540 from (cough - spit - choke) they had a v12 XJS there.......
price wise they wanted £12k. amazing though man, truely stunning motors.
quite a bit different to the new s types and the like coming out of jags "ford" stables at the mo :(

Yeah just been out, cleaned up all the mess and the oil filter housing oil leak is coming from the rear braided hose, "PRESSURE HOSE ASSY OUTLET" as deltailed here:
http://www.realoem.com/bmw/showparts.do?model=DE62&mospid=47548&btnr=11_1591&hg=11&fg=30

see at the end of the outlet pressure hose? (housing end) the part before the O-ring, its a black bit that plumbs into the housing. well where the braided pressure hose meets the black bit, its leaking from there.
is there anyway i can tighten that up at all?, or is it all one part?

and as far as i can tell, the oil on the underside of the car is an amalgamation of both rockers leaking and the pressure hose on the filter housing.
At least thats what im hopeing :stickoutt
better to get those fixed first then see if it leaks further.

heh btw, squeeky door is now silent :buttrock

[mish]

Well if it leaks by the o-ring than it might be the ring, if not it is most likely the hose itself seeping. I would try to replace the o-ring first. There should be thread to tighten.