540i no-start! :(

[JaimeZX]

Hey guys, already done a bit of searching.

Got home from work as normal. Took a nap, tried to leave for an appointment.

In the car, ignition "on."
Radio and air come on as normal.
Ignition to "start."
Now, usually I flip the key to "start" pretty quickly since I'm used to the "auto-starter-until-started" feature. But it didn't do that. In fact, it did NOTHING.

So, I thought maybe I just didn't turn the key quite far enough?
Tried again. This time I noted: the radio stayed on but the fan cut out. I also noted a faint odor of electrical smoke. Very faint.

Me: :( 563450

Still, appointment on my mind. I sniffed around, couldn't localize the odor. Popped the hood... nothing. Checked the trunk battery/fuse area... nothing.

Jumped in my wife's Jeep and ran off.

Came home, searched the forums.

* Tried backup key... same thing.
* Tried passenger's visor light. And the driver's visor light. And the map lights... pretty much started messing around with anything electrical... nothing helped.

SO.

I am stumped.

HOPING it's as simple as the starter switch; that's been a thorn in my side before... 4½ years and 40k ago.

Anyone have other troubleshooting ideas? 563449

------------5 August update, post 56----------------

[philly98540]

Ignition switch or a fuse come to mind. You positive on the electrical odor?

If not, check battery voltage while you try to start it.

[JaimeZX]

Sure about the odor. It was faint but distinct.

Any fuses in the cabin? I'm only aware of the ones in the trunk.

[JaimeZX]

Any troubleshooting ideas would be VERY welcome. I can drop $89 on the ignition switch but I'd kinda prefer knowing the problem before I do...

[JaimeZX]

Update.

So, I started with the obvious:

I checked fuses. All seem okay.
I put my jump-starter on the battery. No change.

So I tore into the steering column and pulled out the ignition switch, and disassembled/cleaned it per this writeup (http://www.bimmerforums.com/forum/showthread.php?1539722-Ignition-Switch-Rebuild-DIY). I sniffed the steering column but could find no smell-evidence of anything melty/burny.

The switch and contacts seemed clean, but I sanded them and reassembled everything.

My hopes were not high, so they weren't really dashed when the cleaned switch did nothing and the car still won't start.

I then opened the relay box under the passenger's side cabin air filter... but I don't know what anything in there does, everything looked okay on the surface and I also couldn't smell anything melty/burny, and there are no labels, so I kind of gave up for the night.

STILL HOPING FOR ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS!! HELP!

[Tutti57]

Did you check the dme fuses under the passenger cabin filter too? I believe there are 4 of them.

[JaimeZX]

You just taught me about those! I didn't know they exist.

NOW. After digging around for two minutes I found that little fusebox under two wiring harnesses.

Next, I proceeded to break off the tab holding the top on the fusebox.

Unfortunately, I don't seem to be able to get INTO the fusebox, in spite of the hold-down tab being broken off. I have no idea what is holding the lid on at this point.

- - - Updated - - -

Edit: So I determined if you pull straight up and wiggle a bit, the top of the fusebox will pull out along with all five fuses. The lid appears as though it should slide off, but appears to be attached through some form of magic. So, failing the visual inspection, I used my multimeter to test continuity across the fuses and found they are all good. So much for THAT theory. :(

Post 9 of this thread (http://www.bimmerfest.com/forums/showthread.php?p=7503785)would suggest there are more fuses under the passenger's seat? I may need to investigate this tomorrow. Again, suggestions welcome.

[justinca540i]

There is a fuse box either in the glove box at the top or in the footwell underneath the glovebox. Can't remember which right now. But there should be 2 twist screw things that lower the tray thing.

[JaimeZX]

Yep, that's the first thing I checked. Thanks though, could have overlooked it. :)

[gmak]

There is a bunch of wiring and fuses under the passenger seat. I've heard that stuff gets fried due to leaks from blocked sunroof drains or back door vapour barrier leaks, coming under from the back seat.

Apocalypse check would be the DME, in case the drain from the cabin filter housing got blocked and water went in there. Maybe the EWS system has gotten its knickers in a twist. Just some thoughts (bad ones, so I hope they're not the cause of the issue).

[jrcook320]

I just posted this in another no-start thread:
No crank is usually one of the following:
- Clutch start cancel switch (or park switch)
- ignition switch
- mechanical/electrical problem between ignition switch and starter, including a bad starter.
- Bad key chip (not the key battery/fob buttons, different system)
- key transponder ring
- EWS module or a sync problem with the module/ECU

Try to push start the car to rule out starter vs. key/EWS. If the car starts, it's likely a clutch switch, or mechanical/electrical problem with the ignition switch, starter motor, or wiring in between. Do the "sunvisor" test which may be an indicator of a bad ignition switch (google it). Smacking the starter motor with a hammer will often dislodge a seized starter, for awhile anyway.

If it doesn't push start then it's likely a bad key, transponder ring failure, or an EWS problem. Read up on the EWS system.

[dk500]

When this happened to me it turned out that I just needed to disconnect the battery, attempt to start it with it out, and then reconnect it.

[philly98540]

He smelled an electrical burning odor when this first started. Must be a short, a fuse, or something along those lines. Check all fuses first I'd say but I never had to troubleshoot a no start on these cars.

Maybe try the push start to rule out ews?

[dk500]

He smelled an electrical burning odor when this first started. Must be a short, a fuse, or something along those lines. Check all fuses first I'd say but I never had to troubleshoot a no start on these cars.

Maybe try the push start to rule out ews?
If there is no crank then it can only be the starter or something related to it (ignition switch).

[JaimeZX]

Guys - thanks for the more thoughts! Not sure how to push-start an automatic.

Figure I will crawl underneath and check for something physical with respect to the starter itself before I remove the passenger's seat. ;)

- Clutch start cancel switch (or park switch)
>> How do I test the park switch idea?

- ignition switch
>> I think I already tested this but I'm game...

- mechanical/electrical problem between ignition switch and starter, including a bad starter.
>> This is a possibility. Will check continuity if I can figure out how.

- Bad key chip (not the key battery/fob buttons, different system)
>> Tried a different key, didn't work. Don't think that's it.

- key transponder ring
>> How do I test this?

- EWS module or a sync problem with the module/ECU
>> How do I test this?

And of course... one of the fuses under the passenger's seat...

THANKS GUYS!

[dk500]

Guys - thanks for the more thoughts! Not sure how to push-start an automatic.

Figure I will crawl underneath and check for something physical with respect to the starter itself before I remove the passenger's seat. ;)

1. Clutch start cancel switch (or park switch)
>> How do I test the park switch idea?

2. ignition switch
>> I think I already tested this but I'm game...

3. mechanical/electrical problem between ignition switch and starter, including a bad starter.
>> This is a possibility. Will check continuity if I can figure out how.

4. Bad key chip (not the key battery/fob buttons, different system)
>> Tried a different key, didn't work. Don't think that's it.

5. key transponder ring
>> How do I test this?

6. EWS module or a sync problem with the module/ECU
>> How do I test this?

And of course... one of the fuses under the passenger's seat...

THANKS GUYS!

1. Try starting it in neutral, and then cycle through each "gear" and try to start it. Maybe something jumped out of place. Make sure you have room just in case the car moves haha.

2. If the dash lights come on this is fine.

3. I am betting on a bad starter.

4. You know this is not it.

5. No

6. I don't think it is this because even if this is the problem, the car will still crank (think compression test with DME relay removed), it just wont start.

[JaimeZX]

So. I may have found the problem.

Shift switch seems fine.

Crawled underneath... I think this was supposed to be a wire? lol

564243

It was extremely brittle.

So at this point I'm guessing R&R the whole starter? I don't even know what that wire is supposed to be by looking at it.

QUESTIONS:

* I didn't get +12v on my multimeter by touching anything on the starter; I've always been kind of used to there being an "always hot" line at a starter, am I wrong here?
* Link to best replacement starter?

Thanks!

[legoman67]

So. I may have found the problem.

Shift switch seems fine.

Crawled underneath... I think this was supposed to be a wire? lol

564243

It was extremely brittle.

So at this point I'm guessing R&R the whole starter? I don't even know what that wire is supposed to be by looking at it.

QUESTIONS:

* I didn't get +12v on my multimeter by touching anything on the starter; I've always been kind of used to there being an "always hot" line at a starter, am I wrong here?
* Link to best replacement starter?

Thanks!

yes, that would be your problem alright. That other post should be directly connected to the battery(the one with the bar off it). I dont recall if there is a fusable link in that wire on the E39. If so it may have popped at the same time as the wire melted off.

[JaimeZX]

So that makes sense, just like you can blow a breaker if you're using too small of an electrical cord; so as that wire slowly crumbled the current was going up until it blew the link... which might explain the burnt smell.

1) I need to locate the source of the smell still. Could still be under the passenger's seat, but I'm hoping not.
2) I see everything from Bosch for $180-after-core to AC Delco ($145) to "TYC" for $67.

[JaimeZX]

Well. After a trip to Harbor Freight for some female Torx (E) sockets, I attacked starter removal.


Two hours of work later, I have failed to remove the starter.

Bottom E14 bolt was pretty easy. The upper one, not so much. I left my set of U-Joint/toggles in Virginia, so I struggled with the right combination of socket and extensions to allow me to turn the upper bolt in the tiny space available. So... that took probably one of the hours. I am not looking forward to reinstalling that bolt.

The smaller heat shield on the starter... I dunno how that comes off. The 2x 10mm nuts just spin the bolts to which they are mated. (???)

Next I figured I'd disconnect the wires.

The 13mm nut holding the main battery cable on was very difficult. FINALLY IT CAME...loose because that whole part of the starter broke off. WTF
Well, okay it was just a big hunk of plastic and the bolt-side of the nut I was trying to turn. At least this time I could put a vise-grip on the thing and twist off the nut. Right? Right?
Wrong. Damnedably stubborn nut, that one. I thought about putting the torch on it, but it still had wires attached. I may hit it with some penetrating oil tomorrow.

Well, only one more 13mm nut. I'll just take that out.
Yeah, right. After several minutes of struggle with that one I decided it was getting too dark to see well and gave up for the night.

SO.
TO RECAP:

Large heat shield removed.
2x E14 bolts removed
1x 13mm nut broken off still attached to a piece of starter
1x 13mm nut refuses to come loose.

Now what I don't get is... how is the starter still attached to the car? At this point it should be dangling by the wire I haven't been able to move yet.

Is this when I hit it with the hammer? :o

[Mach540]

Wires are still on?? Hit the key and mebee it'll pop off....

[1999 540i m]

Is this when I hit it with the hammer? :o

Sounds like hammer time! Rust sucks!!!!!!

[JaimeZX]

Meanwhile, I ordered a Bosch. $180 + $100 core. :p

[JaimeZX]

Finally got the starter out. Needed a bit of ehm.... persuasion to knock it loose. And of course since I couldn't get the heat shield off, it took me 15 minutes to find an angle where I could worm it through the suspension to extract the thing.

Hoping the new starter shows up this weekend! :)

[JaimeZX]

Update.

New starter arrived. Put it in place, inserted both mounting bolts; turned them finger-tight.
Put the torque wrench on the bottom one, tightened down to 35 ft-lbs.
Contort my hands and arms, and put socket on top bolt. Sort of.
HOW THE F DO YOU GUYS TURN THIS BOLT? I have no idea how I even got it out.

Anyway. THAT bolt would not turn. Tighter or looser. wtf? It was just finger-tight a minute ago... anyway. So I figured I'll just hook it up and see if it works and that movement should free up that bolt so I can tighten it properly.

SO. I hooked up the two little wires on the starter. Then I remembered the big wire... still has the nut-and-bolt from the old starter frozen onto it.

I put some penetrating oil. Vice-grip on the nut, breaker bar w/ 13mm socket on the other side.

TWIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSST....off the bolt head. SO.

Gave up for the night. Tomorrow or Saturday or something I'll take the Dremel to the remaining part of the threaded rod and then hopefully we'll see some progress.

SIIIIIIIIIIIGH

[dk500]

Update.

New starter arrived. Put it in place, inserted both mounting bolts; turned them finger-tight.
Put the torque wrench on the bottom one, tightened down to 35 ft-lbs.
Contort my hands and arms, and put socket on top bolt. Sort of.
HOW THE F DO YOU GUYS TURN THIS BOLT? I have no idea how I even got it out.

Anyway. THAT bolt would not turn. Tighter or looser. wtf? It was just finger-tight a minute ago... anyway. So I figured I'll just hook it up and see if it works and that movement should free up that bolt so I can tighten it properly.

SO. I hooked up the two little wires on the starter. Then I remembered the big wire... still has the nut-and-bolt from the old starter frozen onto it.

I put some penetrating oil. Vice-grip on the nut, breaker bar w/ 13mm socket on the other side.

TWIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSST....off the bolt head. SO.

Gave up for the night. Tomorrow or Saturday or something I'll take the Dremel to the remaining part of the threaded rod and then hopefully we'll see some progress.

SIIIIIIIIIIIGH
I'm sorry but that is funny af. I know the struggle though. I broke the bolt head off of the top left side of the trans where it was almost inaccessible. Had to lift the engine about 2 in to even get a small air tool in there to drill it.

[JaimeZX]

Nice. Glad I'm not the only victim. lol

[Slo540]

Happened to me. My battery terminal needed to be cleaned. And it was clean already. Took it off and cleaned it good. Car started right up

[JaimeZX]

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEXCELLENT.
* Removed the remaining stud from the starter cable.
* Hooked up the wire
* Reconnected battery
* Turned key
* VROOOOOOOOOOOM


EEEEEEEEEEEEEXCELLENT!!! :D

Now I just need to put back all the shields, steering column, under-dash and what-not. That'll be another hour. lol
(Oh, and try to tighten down the other dang bolt.)

BUT IT STARTED. :D :D :D

[JaimeZX]

So. Two short test drives, top bolt still won't budge. Gonna try driving to work tomorrow / Tues / Wed and then Wed PM crawl underneath to try one more time. If it still won't turn I'm putting the undercover back.

Meanwhile, I can't figure out how to make the clamshell around the steering column snap back together. I put the top & bottom screws but the thing still hangs with about a ¼" gap between the halves. :(

[E39 Expert]

Make sure the starter is on the dowel pin all the way. If it's not then you it's possible that's what is preventing one of the bolts from threading in.

Having a misaligned starter could also cause problems with the engagement of the bendix and the flywheel, or flex disc.

[JaimeZX]

Make sure the starter is on the dowel pin all the way. If it's not then you it's possible that's what is preventing one of the bolts from threading in.

Having a misaligned starter could also cause problems with the engagement of the bendix and the flywheel, or flex disc.Noted, although the starter appears to be flush with the mounting point; additionally, I finger-tightened both bolts before torquing the bottom one, so I know the top one is threaded in okay.

--------RELATED-------

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK YOU GUYS.

Drove to work this morning. All was well in the world!

Long, tiring day. Annoying assignment from boss. Glad to be leaving for the evening.

Turned key... NOTHING. JUST LIKE BEFORE. W. T. F.
Radio works, lights work, everything works, but it just ignores me when I turn the key to Start.

Called wife. She kindly threw some lumber, a toolbox, my creeper, and a jack in the back of her Jeep and drove 20 minutes to my work.

I crawled back under the car, hoping that the wiring had come loose somehow, even though I thought it was pretty snug.

WIRES WERE TOTALLY SNUG. I inspected the length of them to make sure I hadn't accidentally mis-routed a cable close to the exhaust and melted it. The cabling all appears to be in good condition.

I. DON'T. KNOW. WHAT. IS. GOING. ON. HERE.

Tomorrow I guess I can check ground between the starter and the frame. I assume it grounds through the engine?

What else can I be missing? Can a Bosch starter go bad after 15 miles of driving in dry weather?? :( :( :(

[JaimeZX]

So. Tried jump-starting it just in case the battery were the culprit. Still did nothing.

THEREFORE I CASHED IN MY $1/mo. towing rider on my insurance and took the tow-of-shame home from work. Had the guy deposit it in the driveway, I'll climb underneath again this weekend and extract the new starter to bench-test it.

I don't know if I should hope it's bad or not. :shifty

[JaimeZX]

Okay, another follow-up.

Jacked up car, crawled under.
Tested for +12v at the battery terminal of the starter. CHECK

"Hm." I thought. "Maybe the "S" terminal on the solenoid isn't working right?"

I used a screwdriver to test-jump +12v to the S terminal.

Immediately the starter began cranking and did not stop. I leapt up, grabbed my 10mm socket, and disconnected the negative battery terminal, which obviously stopped the infinicrank.

Next, I reconnected the battery and tried the key again.

NO JOY. :(

So. What's next, y'all? Did the ignition switch go out for real this time? I'd be surprised, it seemed in pretty good shape. *sigh*

- - - Updated - - -

ADDITIONAL THINGS I HAVE JUST TRIED.

* The other key (again)
* Putting a jump-starter back on the car for more juice
* Re-cleaning the battery terminals and cable connections
* Putting a jumper cable between the starter body and the frame

[vwsprite]

Sounds to me like you have entered the security zone, where the car thinks its trying to be stolen,
disconnect battery for 5 minutes, reconnect lock doors with key or fob, so you get the chirp, reopen and try and start normally

[1999 540i m]

You have A bad solenoid, it's the only way a starter can stay active after the screwdriver test

[JaimeZX]

When you turn the key (on a properly-functioning E39) the starter runs until the engine catches...

- - - Updated - - -

OK tried disconnecting the battery / waiting / reconnecting / arm-disarm with key fob and lock/unlock with interior switch. All functioned as expected; still no response to Start. :(

[JimLev]

I haven't read most of the above posts so you may have answered some of these.

Must be an automatic. Have you tried it in neutral?
Gear shift lights agree with the cluster shift lights?
Ignition switch?
When you try to start is can you hear the starter relay clicking?
Pretty sure the early 540's had the relay in the DME box, then it was moved behind the glove box, and then eliminated in '99, the EWSII powered the starter solenoid.

[JaimeZX]

I haven't read most of the above posts so you may have answered some of these.

Must be an automatic. Have you tried it in neutral? Gear shift lights agree with the cluster shift lights?
When you try to start is can you hear the starter relay clicking?
Pretty sure the early 540's had the relay in the DME box, then it was moved behind the glove box, and then eliminated in '99, the EWS powered the starter solenoid.
* Yes, auto. Tried starting in every gear. High cluster agrees with shifter position.
* There are no detectable sounds corresponding to key Run -> Start
* I would LOVE to try and switch relays around. I would love to believe it could be a relay. I would love someone to show me where the relay is. Google seems to pull up a lot of pics of the 528 DME-box-below-pass.-airbox. A 3-minute exam in the car yesterday didn't reveal anything above the glove-box-fuse-box, but to be fair I didn't drop the glove box altogether...

I appreciate any and all suggestions. I was going to try to jump the two black wires on the EWS, but all the pics I found for that showed an easily removed cubby that expose it but I think those were all LHD models. I crawled upside-down under the steering column and could see the EWS with a flashlight, but access seems difficult.

[JimLev]

You need to drop the glove box to get at the relays. Mine is a '00 so a pic would be the same as yours.
Also need to drop the lower panel on the drivers side to get access to the EWS.

[JaimeZX]

Okay, well I just dropped the glove box and I see no evidence of any relays behind it.

567327


So I went back into the e-box and pulled out one computer:

567328

I see no evidence of any relays at the bottom of the box:

567329

So at this point I guess it must be all in the EWS computer? So I need to figure out how to drop the panel under the steering column and access that thing to jumper it. :/

- - - Updated - - -

--------

Follow-up:

Got good access to the EWS.

567338

So various posts on the internets suggest jumping two cables on the EWS to test if the EWS is blocking the starter. Of course, many of them say "black" and "black," but really the only two I see that look like they might carry any amount of amps at all are Black and Red (well, appears kind of brown in the pic), adjacent to one another.

Does that check with y'all? I don't want to fry anything.

Thanks!

- - - Updated - - -

Edit2:

Cropped the pic a bit.

567339

[JaimeZX]

Well, I crawled under with a 10' wire and my multi-meter and confirmed that neither the red nor the black wire has continuity with the starter... are they supposed to?
(The red wire would make the MM jump a little before settling down.)

[gmak]

You're way beyond my area of experience. Watching with bated breath and fingers crossed.

[BMWPlanetDude]

Any good to you?
http://www.bimmerforums.com/forum/showthread.php?2270817-540i-car-stopped-while-driving-No-start-(Resolved)

To remove relay/ecu cover box in engine bay there is actually one/two bolts against the firewall almost. Not just on top.
I too have one of my top bolts seized.
Just remove those bolts on firewall and pull the cover it will come off.

[JimLev]

I've got one relay behind the glove box. Pretty sure you may have 2.
I think the tranny park position switch feeds into the EWS, not sure, I've got a 6 speed.
The print shows a 2.5mm black/yellow wire leaving the EWSII (M5.2.1 DME) and splicing to a black wire that goes to the N. O. starter relay contact 30.
From the starter relay a 2.5mm black/yellow wire, contact 87, and goes to a junction where it connects to a 4mm black wire that goes to the starter solenoid.
If your DME isn't M5.2.1 the above isn't 100% correct.
Good luck.


567696

[Mach540]

Jaime
Here's a pic of the starter wiring diagram outta my Bently manual.
Do the wire colors and sizes jibe with what you have?
I'd suggest seeing if the 14 Ga wire has power while the key is turned to "Start"
If it does, the problem is in the solenoid/starter.
If it does not, then its somewhere else..... duh. Maybe EWS, maybe park switch..

567699

Another questions: Do you know if your car has AGS, which is "Adaptive Transmission Control?"
If it does, there is another wiring diagram that shows your missing "Starter Relay." I don't know where it is in the car, but it looks like it exists.
It appears to exist on the black 14 Ga wire coming out of the EWS, between it and the starter.

567702

HTHs

[JaimeZX]

@BMWPlanetDude: Thanks man. Your problem was different from mine... mine won't *crank* and I don't see any evidence of relays in the Electronics box under the hood.

@JimLev - okay, I'll buy what you're selling; I jumped back and forth between your pic and the one I posted and those relays could be up out of sight; how do I pull that sub-box down?

@Mach - I don't know what those .X--- things are in the diagram. Where you have "14ga black wire" going from EWS to the Starter it looks like there are three intervening Somethings. ??

[Mach540]

@Mach - I don't know what those .X--- things are in the diagram. Where you have "14ga black wire" going from EWS to the Starter it looks like there are three intervening Somethings. ??

Yeah, it's all pretty abstract and daunting, but it is all good information, once you get your brain wrapped around what it is trying to tell you. I'm finding this Bently Manual is a pretty amazing piece of text, especially compared to the Haynes and Chiltons I'm used to.

So, I tried to decipher what most of the things mean on the schematic. I would think once you understand what the cryptographical symbols mean, they will start to click with what you have seen on your actual car.

567791

If you have any questions, let me know.
If it's not helpful, let me know that too. I learned a lot just doing the research on this.

[JaimeZX]

I need the Mach secret decoder ring. You are amazing. :o

- - - Updated - - -

Okay, so JimLev was CORRECT. I DOUBLE TRIPLE CHECKED WHAT I HAD LOOKED AT BEFORE AND BEHOLD:

567818

Relays.

But.

Every pictar on the intarwebs shows... not that many. THREE GREEN ONES?!?

Well that wasn't going to work.

WHAT I WAS ABLE TO CONFIRM THIS AFTERNOON:

1) The relay at FAR RIGHT in the above pic has a BLACK wire with CONTINUITY to the LARGE BLACK wire going into the EWS computer. (See the last pic from post 41).

2) Swapping this relay for one out of the trunk was NO HELP WHATSOEVER in cranking. :(

3) In desperation, jumping the red and black wires on the EWS computer (again, post 41) also did not make it crank. And to reiterate... neither does turning on the passenger's side vanity lights. :(

4) Out of curiosity, when the ignition was totally off, the RED wire on the EWS harness had ~7.5v, but when I turned the ignition ON it went to zero.
???????????????????????

[JaimeZX]

Well. I'm done with it. Zero progress. Tow truck coming in the morning to take to a shop. :(

[capebmw]

I just stumbled on this thread as well. Didn't read all of it. I had an E53 with a no start last fall. Lot's of same symptoms. Without going into too much detail, I found out that I had a blown 7.5fuse. There are 2 fuses that control the DME and the start circuit. EWS are very reliable, I am thinking you have something simple going on. I don't remember what number the fuses were, but they are labeled for the DME and in the glovebox. Good luck.

[JaimeZX]

Thanks - I checked all the fuses more than once though. :)

Anyone want to take a guess at how much this is going to run? :p

[five40eye]

Holy crap man, what an ordeal. I can't deal with stuff like this, electrical stuff baffles me. Half makes me want to put it up for sale when I get my WP in. Seems like it's just one thing after another with these...

As for a $$$ guess? Got a good indy? Hopefully not too much, but we still don't know what's wrong. :(

[JaimeZX]

Well, I sent the shop a link to this thread and described everything I'd done so far to the techs. They said "sure sounds like the EWS." So I'm glad we're on the same page anyway. OTOH the bathroom was very nice and had a plant, and there were Ferraris there. So... the hourly rate could be interesting. :eek:

[seabass07]

Someone's gotta pay for that plant.

[JaimeZX]

-----------------UPDATE-------------------

Finally got the car back from the shop! The techs read through this thread to get an idea of where I had been. They also cut me a huge break on labor because (a) I wasn't in a hurry and (b) the original tech working on the car had a motorcycle accident and left their employ rather suddenly, so the next guy had to kind of start from scratch.

SO. The car RUNS. I am thrilled! Turns out one of the 50A fuses under the seat WAS blowing. Tech said he traced it to some aftermarket wiring so he disconnected most of it. What I *don't* know is which fuse specifically.

* He didn't disconnect my amp. Stereo seems uneffected.
* He *may* have disconnected my trailer wiring harness. Which is fine because now I have a Jeep and a truck and am far more likely to tow with one of them.
* He DID go into the electronic box under the passenger's side cabin air filter and disconnect the +12v signal wire I had in one of the relays, which he said was pulling down the ECU voltage from +12v to +2v and causing the no-start.

NOW.

What is WEIRD is... how can a signal wire going to some relays pull down the voltage that far? I cannot imagine that it's pulling 50A+ ???

What I didn't remember because I did this years ago is that the signal wire not only turns on my AEs (as DRL) but also the electric fan.
I remembered that when sitting at a stoplight and [DING] >>COOLANT TEMPERATURE<<.

Fortunately I was 1/2 mile from home so I gunned it to 45mph and then coasted down to my street. Gave the disconnected signal wire +12v at home and WHIRRRRR on came the fan. :facepalm:

So. If that signal wire was pulling 50A it would have MELTED. It's like, 28 gauge wire. So I still dunno wtf is going on there. Going to put a multimeter in series set to amps this weekend and see wtf is going on.

OH.
Also.

The brake lights are always on. :wtf: Need to figure THAT one out quickly... What are the odds the tech bumped something loose there? Else how easy is it to replace the switch under the pedal? O_o I can't really drive around with the brake lights on....

[JaimeZX]

Update - the brake switch was disconnected. Plugged it back in and it seems to be working fine.

So I tested the current on the signal wire and it seems to be 0.12A. I think I will put like, a 2A fuse on the signal wire going into the electronics box. I cannot imagine it would be pulling enough to blow a 50A fuse... just baffles me! But better to blow a 2A fuse under the hood than a 50A fuse under the carpet!