even better than nikki's ricer story....

**Dark Helmet** · 06-10-2002, 12:43 AM

Stripped down Civic
by Nude_Rider, 19, male
Topic: Car Racing - Street

March 13, 2002

Hey WASSSSSSSSSSSSSSUp fellow street RaCers,
So here's my story. I have a auto 1998 Honda Civic EX with the following mods:

1)K&N Oil Filter: cause clean oil means faster car.
2)Aluminum oil cap to save weight and to dissipate heat faster.
3)I only use Mobil Super Premium gas, and I only put in 1.47 gallons of gas at a time to save weight.
4)Installed the tornado air system in my car. It makes the air in my intake swirl and go faster.
5) Carbon Fiber Exhaust Tip cause that's what the pros use, enough said.

Now here’s the reason why I win so much because my car is so light, here’s what I’ve done so far:

6)I weigh 112 lbs of pure Vietnamese fury. I also don't wear any clothes when I race, due to my strict weight restrictions. It’s an awesome feeling being so free and one with the car.
7)Aftermarket aluminum pedals cause they weigh so little also they move back faster when I step on the gas, this mod probably takes .5-1 second of my 1/4 mile alone.
8)I removed the head and armrest to reduce weight.
9)After losing to a Tran-am I decided to shave my pubes and I took off my hub caps and Honda logo, now my car flies.

So as you can tell me car is pretty fast and dangerous. Anyways enough the with the technical stuff and on with the story. I was driving my civic home from work at a Chinese restaurant were I deliver. Before I got into my car, I pumped a couple gallons of gas out of my car, then I took of my clothes much to the ladies delight .

I was rally racing through the traffic like a champ when I saw this white V6 mustang with a guy and I guess his girlfriend inside with him. I pulled up next to them blasting my stock sound system to the max, playing my trance when the girl looked over in my direction to check me out. I rolled down my window and was like "Wasssup Baby, you want some of this" and she turned away. I could tell she was into me but she was shy. The stupid white guy inside said to me “hey fag, fuck off.” I got pretty upset at this and wanted to show them all my car's power, so while I waited for the light to turn green, I practiced fake shifting with my dick, which was hard due to the upcoming race. I put the car into neutral to let it roll back like a Manuel.

But then all of a sudden a great problem occurred, a fly had landed on hood, now my light weight advantage might be lost. So I got out of car and ran toward my hood with my dick flapping along in between my legs. I brushed the fly off and started walking back to my car, cause there was a race to be won. As I was getting in the guy in the car chucked a beer can at my soft virgin ass, STUPID RED NECK!! So I deiced to piss on his car, this also helped bring down my weight to 111.98 lbs. I then got in, buckled my seat belt (safety first) and got in full race mode.

When the light turned green I pretend shifted into first I revved it up to 7,000 grand I love the sound of Vtec So when I hit 15mph I pretend shifted into second and kept it there till thirty until I pretend shifted again, damn that's a lot of shifting but that's what being a street racer is all about. I could feel the g-forces acting on me cause my dick got sucked in to my body due to the thunderous acceleration. When I hit thirty I was like hell yeah, take that white-trash. Then all of a sudden the mustang blew past me. He must have tricked out his car or something. So I dropped the car back into neutral to pretend I missed my next shift.

At the next traffic signal, I was next to the girl again and I said "Hey baby, I missed my shift thinking about your fine ass" she started blushing. I mean can you resist a hot, sweaty, naked Racer/Romeo driving a super fast car. Her boyfriend looked pissed as fuck, but hey its not my fault I’m a total chick magnet. She was about to open her mouth to respond but the light turned green and I was off like a pro cause I got no time for small talk when I'm in my supercar. This time I took no chances so I took my car all the way up to 9,000 rpm and my engine exploded. But that's the price I guess you pay when you live life in the fast lane.

Just remember always if you ever see a handsome naked AZN driving a sexy civic watch out cause looks can be deceiving and trust me you don't want to be on the receiving end of my fury. PeAcE OuT PePoPle

__________________

**MMJ4mil** · 06-10-2002, 01:09 AM

lmao

**MMJ4mil** · 06-10-2002, 01:10 AM

omg i read it again

even funnier!!!

**vapor** · 06-10-2002, 02:44 AM

Written entertainment at it's finest!

vapor

**1995red318i** · 06-10-2002, 02:45 AM

that's great! is that a personal experience story?

:

**Dark Helmet** · 06-10-2002, 02:48 AM

I stole that from www.clubrsx.com sorry, I should have noted that.

**yardboy** · 06-10-2002, 03:26 AM

that was just plain hilarious.

**stevieb** · 06-10-2002, 03:46 AM

:

**Rel44 M3** · 06-10-2002, 12:24 PM

I was wondering if it was real or not for the first few items because some ricers really say that stuff.

**sfhighroller** · 06-10-2002, 03:33 PM

LMAO! Too funny!

**blondechick** · 06-10-2002, 03:37 PM

damnit. why do you have to go and beat me like that? i thought my story was funny as hell, and now this. ::sob:: haha. that's freaking hilarious.

**Rel44 M3** · 06-10-2002, 03:40 PM

Originally posted by blondechick
::sob:: haha.

I see you went through your entire range of emotion while reading this thread.

Tell you what, why don't you go out and chat with Smoothsteve some more and get some more material.

**blondechick** · 06-10-2002, 03:41 PM

that's why they cal me moody.
now there's an idea.... but can i afford to lose more brain cells from his stupidity??

**Rel44 M3** · 06-10-2002, 03:46 PM

Originally posted by blondechick
but can i afford to lose more brain cells from his stupidity??

Come on, it's for a good cause... like donating blood or something. We need some more good laughs.

**blondechick** · 06-10-2002, 03:51 PM

here, i don't feel like putting up with his stupidity yet... maybe later. but to hold you off, here is his profile:
Nets Are Tha Numba One Stunna,
Tha Champions, Period.
Go Lakers-Shaq Fu!

TLB-Seattle Mariners
Record: 8-7; PlayOff Schedule: Saturday

Hey y'all wut up. Just wanna give a holla to my friends. GIRLS: Nicole Shortway, Katie Wilder, Katie Glantz, Shelly, Jackie, Arielle, Heatha and all em otha hott gurls i know. Mad Luv For Y'all. DAWGS: Christian V., Paul Bennett, Sal, Armand, C-Nate, and Omar. Keep It Real!

Due Out: Nelly:Nellyville-June 25th/Last Day Of Skool...Heh Heh..Excellent....
*VoKal*, BaBy

Hot Import Nights-June 14th-16th @ Atlantic City!!

**Dark Helmet** · 06-10-2002, 03:57 PM

what an idiot...

hey nikki... I need a real-time chat client of some sort.

I HATE AOL soooooooooo much, and I really don't want to use that crap. so what else is out there? (is ICQ any good?)

**Rel44 M3** · 06-10-2002, 04:00 PM

I like Yahoo Messenger. And yeah, that dude's an idiot.

**blondechick** · 06-10-2002, 04:05 PM

you think i know das? i just use aol because it's easy and i'm not on it enough for it to annoy me.

**umnitza** · 06-10-2002, 04:11 PM

Originally posted by dasMafia
what an idiot...

hey nikki... I need a real-time chat client of some sort.

I HATE AOL soooooooooo much, and I really don't want to use that crap. so what else is out there? (is ICQ any good?)

Most clients are blocked by corp firewalls.

However the most common (widely used) are:
AOL - AIM
MSN
Yahoo! (My fav due to firewall friendliness)
ICQ (No likey)
Trillian (combo of the above)

Yahoo seems to be making more and more additions to its client that you may like.

**iis0nicii** · 06-10-2002, 04:15 PM

vietnamese fury!!!!!!! priceless hehehhe

**Rel44 M3** · 06-10-2002, 04:21 PM

Originally posted by umnitza
Yahoo seems to be making more and more additions to its client that you may like.

It's got this cool thing called IMVironments where you can have a common background and have like one guy be Dilbert and the other his boss... or you can play this weird fighting game... kinda cool.

Some of the smilies are really good, too.

**Dark Helmet** · 06-10-2002, 04:58 PM

looks like yahoo gets the nod.

**umnitza** · 06-10-2002, 05:11 PM

Originally posted by Rel44 M3

It's got this cool thing called IMVironments where you can have a common background and have like one guy be Dilbert and the other his boss... or you can play this weird fighting game... kinda cool. Some of the smilies are really good, too.

:eyes1 I was talking about productivity enhancements

Like speech, webcam, etc

**Rel44 M3** · 06-10-2002, 05:27 PM

Originally posted by umnitza

:eyes1 I was talking about productivity enhancements Like speech, webcam, etc

Blah... gimme some Yahoo Fighter... that and IM'ing is all you need.

Actually, I'd rather not have the Yahoo client get too robust like ICQ did. Just a simple chat client is fine.

**umnitza** · 06-10-2002, 05:30 PM

the key with Y! is the interface, which remains simple and easy to read.

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