2006 BMW X5 3.0si (63K Miles) Won't "Crank" Engine This Morning/ Was Running Fine

[dluders]

My E70 2008 BMW 3.0si (with 63,000 miles) won't "crank" the engine this morning. I've only owned this used car for two weeks, and bought it from a non-BMW dealership with "No Warranty". It has been operating great up until now, and I just drove it yesterday with no problems. A week ago, I had it serviced by the local BMW dealership and it was given a "clean bill of health". Nevertheless, when I plug in the electronic "key" into the dashboard, all of the lights, iDrive display, chimes, etc. light up, but the engine won't attempt to "crank" and there are no revs on the Tachometer. I'm in "Park" and have my foot on the brake pedal, as usual. I switched electronic keys to plug into the dashboard, but it does the same thing. I don't have a Code Reader to diagnose anything. I could use my AAA membership to have it towed to the BMW dealership downtown, but I'm trying to troubleshoot it myself to save time/money. Any ideas or recommendations? As it stands now, it's "dead in the water".

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My wife just e-mailed me at work, and wrote: "The parking lamp was on "3" (as indicated in the Owner's Manual). This is the automatic headlight control.
The Owner's Manual states on page 102 "The parking lamps drain the battery. Do not leave them switched on for long periods of time, otherwise it may no longer be possible to start the engine" (which would explain the battery light coming on and the car not starting). I would recommend leaving the parking lamp set at 0 when not driving."

I don't recall that the Parking Lights stayed "on" during the evening and nighttime hours. I've had the Light Switch set on "3" (Automatic Headlight Control) for nearly the entire 2 weeks that I've owned the vehicle. Would that drain the battery? I thought that, once the electronic "key" was removed from the dashboard, the lights would go out and STAY OFF. If the battery were indeed "drained", why would the display lights and iDrive still light up when I attempted to start the car? Please advise; thanks.

[HeliHover]

Sounds like a dead battery or loose connections at the battery.

[dluders]

I have the car on a trickle-charger now, but won't know if it does any good until tomorrow morning when the battery is recharged. Could the Automatic Headlight Control REALLY drain the battery with no key in the car? I just drove it yesterday afternoon....

[dluders]

The AGM battery has the "Jan 2014" holes punched out of its tag, so I doubt that it's a bad/weak battery....

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Tried to start it after 15 hours of trickle-charging -- no engine cranking still. When I first insert the electronic key into the dashboard, I'm able to move the automatic gearshift lever from "Park" into other gears and back into Park, but as soon as I step on the Brake Pedal to start it, the shift lever stays stuck in "Park". I just don't understand what's going on.

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AAA is going to tow my 2008 BMW X5 3.0si to the local BMW dealer. I used this YouTube video "Towing Tip Emergency Shift Release 2008 BMW X-5" to get it from "Park" to "Neutral" for towing onto a flatbed truck: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3viS4EcaW3o

[HeliHover]

Hey man you might want to give the battery a real charge before you take it to the dealership. Check the basics first. Don't pay some one 125-150 an hr to check your battery! A trickle charger is not going to do anything to a dead battery.

[M3rocket]

Is there any chance you (or your wife) bumped the turn signal one way or the other while getting out of the car? If so, the X5 has a feature that turns the parking lights on one side or the other to light the sidewalk/curb. But of course if left on, you've drained the battery. These vehicles use so much juice to start all the bells and whistles that you'll need to charge the battery for a good 5-10 minutes with a powerful jump (AAA tow truck) before it will start.

Good luck -- and I agree w/HeliHover -- don't go to the dealership for a battery issue!

[dluders]

It turns out that the Starter Motor was bad. It got replaced at the BMW dealership, and the X5 drives well now. Case closed!